


Flavour of Life

by ahappylurker



Category: THE9 (Band), 青春有你2 | Youth With You 2 (TV)
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Slice of Life, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:00:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 26,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27193454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahappylurker/pseuds/ahappylurker
Summary: Following the disbandment of THE9, Yuxin is flying high. Her solo career is taking off, she's in a long-term relationship with the man she loves, and she has the support of friends and family. However, what happens when life throws her a curveball in the form of a little bundle of joy?
Relationships: Cai Xukun/Liu Yuxin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

“Yes, thank you. Good bye.”

With trembling hands, Yuxin ended the call and lowered the phone to her side.

“Who was that?” her manager asked in concern. “Was that the doctor?”

For a very brief moment, Yuxin considered lying. However, knowing that her manager would eventually find out the truth, she replied with a short nod.

“What did she say?”

“She…” Yuxin paused, hesitated, and then cleared her throat. “She said I will need to go in for a follow-up visit.”

“What? Why? What do you have?”

Yuxin paused again. For some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to say the words out-loud. “I’m so sorry. I just need some time to myself to digest everything. Can we talk about this later perhaps?”

Her manager opened her mouth to protest but one look at her charge’s ashen face and she changed her mind. “Alright, I understand. I’ll step out for a bit. Send me a text when you’re ready to chat, alright?”

Yuxin nodded. “Thank you.”

Her legs gave out as soon as her manager left, causing her to crumple on the carpeted floor of the hotel room. The doctor’s words replayed again in her mind.

_“Ms. Liu, we got the results of your blood test back today. I have fairly significant news to share with you.”_

She covered her face with her hands as her eyes began to water.

_“It turns out you’re pregnant.”_

She had no idea how this could have happened. Her and Kun were always careful to take the necessary precautions when they made love. When did something go wrong?

_“I know you said you and your partner were using condoms but condoms are only effective 98% of the time, and that’s if they’re used and stored properly. The fact of the matter is that breakage or microtears can happen during intercourse, and they can occur due to a variety of reasons...”_

She didn’t know what to do. THE9 had disbanded less than a year ago and she was still in the midst of promoting her solo album. Though she was of marrying age, this was not the ideal time for her to begin thinking about settling down.

_“I know this must be a shock to you. You and your partner do have several options available to the both of you, of course. Perhaps you might want to discuss it with him and we can book a follow-up appointment?”_

She didn’t even know if Kun was thinking about marriage. He was a year younger than her. While they had been secretly dating for a little over 3 years now, he was still only 25. Surely, most men would not want to settle down just yet?

Never mind him. Was she even ready to marry? She had achieved more in her career than she could have imagined since joining Youth with You 2, but she felt there might still be more out there for her. Could she really put all those plans on hold for motherhood?

She ran her fingers through her short hair, thinking of how different she was from her own beloved, very feminine mother. Would she even make a good mother?

But what would be the alternative outside of marriage and motherhood? Adoption? Maybe even abortion?

She blanched at both options. For some reason, both choices felt so…final.

The screen of her phone lit up with a new message and she looked down at it hoping for a distraction from her racing thoughts. However, she immediately regretted doing so when she saw it was a message from Kun.

Shutting the screen of her phone off, she hugged her knees to her chest and began to cry. 


	2. Chapter 2

_I’m sorry, KunKun. I won’t be able to meet up tomorrow. Something came up. Let’s meet next time?_

Kun stared at the text he had just received from Yuxin, a grim expression on his face.

That confirmed it. Yuxin was avoiding him.

Kun prided himself on being a perceptive person; and that was especially true when it came to Yuxin, whom he had observed for close to half his life. His girlfriend, he knew, was the type of person who avoided uncomfortable situations by pulling away, and he had already sensed something was wrong when her text replies and their video chats had become sporadic and clipped over the last two weeks.

He racked his brains as to what he could have done to upset her but could think of nothing. There were no false rumours about him and other women, as far as he knew. They also hadn’t had any disagreements about anything. The last time they had met in person was about a month and a half ago where they spent three glorious days together in her apartment. Considering they had barely left her bed at that time, he was sure whatever was bothering her hadn’t stemmed from there.

When Kun bit his lip in thought, his manager asked, “Kun, what’s with that look on your face? Is something wrong?”

He turned to look at the other man. “Shenjun-ge, I think there may be something going on with Yuxin.”

His manager, Chen Shenjun, was his closest friend and ally. Being a few years older than him, Kun often turned to him for advice and feedback.

“Why do you think that?” Shenjun asked.

“She’s been a little distant these last two weeks. And now I just got a message from her cancelling our plans for tomorrow.”

“Did she say why?”

“No.”

“Hm.” Shenjun stroked his chin in thought. “Want me to contact her manager to see if she knows anything?”

Kun hesitated. Both him and Yuxin were intensely private and while they relied on Shenjun and Yuxin’s manager, Yiqi, to help them figure out schedules and meeting locations, they preferred to keep their issues to themselves. “Could you only ask if there have been changes to Yuxin’s schedule? Otherwise…”

“I understand. Better not to get outsiders involved, right?”

“That’s right.”

“Alright. I’ll speak to her and let you know.”

The update Shenjun gave him after his conversation with Yiqi only served to make Kun feel more confused and anxious. Yiqi had been shocked when Shenjun reached out to her because she was of the impression that it was Kun who had cancelled the meeting. Apparently, Yuxin now had plans to meet Yu Shuxin at her home instead.

What’s more, Yiqi asked Shenjun if Kun knew what was going on with Yuxin. According to Yiqi, the young woman had been withdrawn and distracted ever since receiving a call from her doctor two weeks ago. As Yuxin had been very tight-lipped about the details of her phone call, Yiqi had hoped Kun at least knew of the news Yuxin had received.

I didn’t even know she had gone to see the doctor, Kun thought. Just what is she hiding from everyone?

“Shenjun-ge?”

“Yeah, Kun?”

“Could I ask if you and Yiqi-jie can figure out a time when I can see Yuxin? It doesn’t matter if I have to fly in from another city or if I even have to cancel an activity. Just help me find the earliest time to meet her.”

“Not a problem, Kun.”

“Oh, and Shenjun-ge?”

“Yeah?”

“Tell Yiqi-jie not to let Yuxin know about this.”

Shenjun nodded and left Kun’s hotel room, phone in his hand.

After the door closed behind his manager, Kun sat on his bed and buried his head in his hands. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a side note, I don’t know if anyone else picked up on the fact that what’s bothering Yuxin actually stemmed from them not leaving her bed those three days. Oh, the irony.


	3. Chapter 3

“You said you needed to chat with me about something?” Shuxin asked as she cuddled up to Yuxin on her sofa.

Yuxin let the other woman cling to her, wondering how to best reveal her news. While they had very little in common, Yuxin had been turning to Shuxin for advice since Youth with You 2. She found the other observant and honest, with the ability to bring clarity and perspective to situations.

“Why aren’t you speaking?” Shuxin asked when Yuxin still hadn’t said a word. She withdrew the arm she had around her friend and sat upright. “I can’t help you if you don’t say anything.” 

Yuxin swallowed hard, knowing it was now or never. “I’m pregnant.”

Shuxin froze for a split second. “Are you serious, Liu Yuxin?”

Yuxin nodded. 

Shuxin squealed and launched herself at Yuxin, tackling the other into the sofa cushions as she hugged her in excitement. “No way! Congratulations!” 

A few seconds passed before Shuxin realized her friend wasn’t returning her embrace. “Wait a second.” She pulled back and scanned Yuxin’s face. “You don’t seem to be happy about this? I thought you and Kun would be ecstatic.”

“He doesn’t know about it yet.”

“What? Liu Yuxin!” 

“I…I can’t bring myself to tell him.” 

“Why not?”

“It wasn’t planned. This happened by accident.”

“So what? That just means it’s meant to be.” 

“So what?” Yuxin repeated in disbelief. “If people were to know about this… I mean, we’re not even in a public relationship like you are right now.”

“So maybe it’s the universe telling you to make it public,” Shuxin replied.

“But…”

“Besides,” Shuxin continued, “I’ve always had the feeling Kun doesn’t mind going public. I think he’s been holding back for the sake of your career.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Please. He’s not exactly shy about his feelings for you. All the rain motifs in Lover in Youth2, Running Man, and his stage performances? And that was back when you two first started dating.” 

Yuxin blushed and fiddled with her fingers, unsure of what to say. 

“He’s always been the type to march to the beat of his own drum anyway,” Shuxin said. “I doubt he’ll let some naysayers stop him from doing what’s right.”

“Is this the right thing to do though?”

Shuxin stared. “What do you mean?” 

“Getting married and having a child at this time. I mean, I’m just starting out as a solo artist and Kun is still at the top of his field. What if we experience backlash or lose fans from this?”

“You’ll experience backlash and lose fans no matter what,” Shuxin said bluntly. “Even I did when I went public with my relationship, and my boyfriend isn’t even a celebrity.” 

“But it’s not like you got married with a baby on the way.”

“Well, no. But shotgun weddings happen all the time! You aren’t the first nor will you be the last. In fact,” and here Shuxin grinned mischievously, “you’ve had such a clean, scandal-free reputation up until now. This might actually endear some people to you. It’ll be like, ‘Liu Yuxin! She screws up just like us!’” Shuxin then realized how that sounded and clutched the sleeve of Yuxin’s shirt with an apologetic look on her face, “Not that I’m saying your pregnancy is a screw-up though! It’s not at all. It’s just- You know what I mean.”

Used to Shuxin’s tendency to put her foot in her mouth, Yuxin patted her thigh in reassurance. “I understood what you meant, don’t worry.” She heaved a sigh. “And it’s not like you’re wrong anyway. This is going to wreak havoc on our careers. And what am I going to be like as a mother…”

“You’ll be an amazing mother.”

“Will I? I don’t even know how to cook. I don’t know the first thing about being a mother.”

“No one does until they become one. But you learn as you go along, right?”

“But what about-”

“Liu Yuxin,” Shuxin interrupted. “You’re giving me a lot of reasons as to why having this baby is not a good idea. Is it the case you don’t want this child?”

“I…I don’t know.” 

“Do you not?” Shuxin asked. “Then let me phrase this a different way. You’re thinking about all the things that could happen if you keep this child. What about the alternative? What happens if you give it away for adoption or abort it? Will you be able to live with your choice knowing you’ll never be able to set eyes on your own child again?”

At her friend’s words, Yuxin jerked in her seat and instinctively covered her lower abdomen. The idea of never being able to see her baby instilled a deep, crippling fear that she couldn’t quite control or explain.

Shuxin looked pointedly down at Yuxin’s hands. “I think you have your answer.”

Yuxin followed her friend’s gaze, her hands flexing on top of her clothing. She was quiet for a few moments before saying in a small voice, “We’ve been assuming Kun will be on-board with everything. What if Kun doesn’t want to marry and have the child?” 

For the first time, Shuxin hesitated. “While I don't think you're giving Kun enough credit, that’s always a possibility, of course. Regardless, it doesn’t change the fact that YOU want this child, right?”

“No…”

“Then there’s no sense worrying about it.” Shuxin used a finger to lift Yuxin’s chin so that she could look into her eyes. “And if things don’t work out, I’ll be by your side.” 

The sincerity in her friend’s words made Yuxin’s eyes unexpectedly water. “Thank you.” 

Shuxin moved her hand from Yuxin’s face to her belly. Clasping one of Yuxin’s slim hands in her own, she gave it a hard squeeze. “You’re welcome.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a complete side note, I learned afterwards that Yuxin can in fact cook. Sorry, Yuxin! I did you wrong, baby.


	4. Chapter 4

Yuxin was shocked when she opened the door to her hotel room in Chimelong, where she had just arrived to start her role as a dance mentor for Youth with You 4, and saw Kun standing in front of her with a bouquet of blue roses in his hands. 

“Kun! What are you doing here?” 

“Surprise,” he greeted with a soft smile. Striding up to his girlfriend, Kun kissed her parted lips tenderly before pressing the flowers towards her. 

Yuxin accepted the bouquet from him. “I thought we weren’t supposed to meet for another two weeks.” 

“Something changed in my schedule,” Kun replied, “so I decided to come see you. I missed you.”

Yuxin wasn’t prepared to meet her boyfriend so soon. “Kun-” 

“Wait,” Kun interrupted, as he wrapped an arm around her and guided her to the sofa. Picking up one of the milk teas he bought from the coffee table, he handed it to Yuxin as they sat down. “Let’s get comfortable first.” His plan was to make Yuxin feel at ease before coaxing the information he wanted out of her. “Okay, what did you want to say?”

As the two conversed, Kun searched for an opportunity to ask about Yuxin’s doctor’s visit. His chance came up when Yuxin mentioned how exhausted she had been feeling lately. 

“A little bit of fatigue is normal but what you’re experiencing sounds much worse than that. You should go see a doctor.” 

Yuxin swallowed. “I…I already have.”

“Oh?” Kun called upon all his acting skills as he tried to look like he was hearing this information for the first time. “What did he say?”

Yuxin considered her next words. Setting her milk tea on the table, she said finally, “Kun, have you ever thought about the future?”

Surprised by the question, Kun replied, “Occasionally. Why?” He hoped Yuxin wasn’t trying to change the subject.

“I was wondering because, well, going to the doctor made me think about a lot of things.”

“Such as?”

“Such as life. And the timing of things.”

“Timing?” Kun asked as he set his own milk tea on the table. “Of what?”

“You know, children, career, family…” Yuxin paused. “Have you ever thought about things like that?”

Kun was starting to get an idea as to where this conversation was heading. “Sometimes, but not often. Why are you asking? What did the doctor say to you?” he pressed again.

When Yuxin hesitated, Kun pulled her closer to him. After a brief internal debate, he decided to just ask what he was thinking.

“Yuxin,” Kun said slowly as he cradled her head, his fingers running through the silky strands of her short hair, “I could be completely wrong and part of me thinks it’s impossible but...” he paused, “are you pregnant?” 

Yuxin jerked out of Kun’s hold in shock, her wide eyes a mixture of fright, disbelief, and guilt. “How did you know?”

Kun kept his gaze and expression steady, knowing any wrong movement would likely add to Yuxin’s anxiety. “I have to admit I wasn’t being completely honest, Yuxin.” When she looked puzzled, he explained, “I actually heard from Yiqi-jie two weeks ago that you had gone to see the doctor.” 

“What?” 

“Yes, I’m sorry.” 

“Why would she tell you? And when?”

“It was when you cancelled our date. I reached out to her to ask how your schedule had changed, and she asked me if I knew about your doctor’s appointment.” 

Yuxin didn’t know if she should feel betrayed or relieved by this information. “Why didn’t you say anything earlier then?”

“I felt it would be better to have this conversation face-to-face.” 

“And you knew I was pregnant this whole time?”

“No, it was only one of the possibilities that I came up with when I learned about your doctor’s visit.” Kun’s mouth quirked up at one corner in a small, crooked smile. “I thought it was one of my more ridiculous ideas, to be honest. But when you started asking me about my future… Well, it became the only idea that made sense.” 

He paused briefly to allow Yuxin the opportunity to speak. When she didn’t, he continued, “After all, you wouldn’t be asking me about children if you had a serious illness, right?” 

Yuxin’s mouth opened and then closed. She asked finally, “What are your thoughts about it?”

“About you being pregnant? Sure beats the idea of you sick or dying.”

She frowned slightly. “Be serious!” 

“I am being serious.”

“No, you’re not. Why aren’t you upset?”

“Why should I be upset? It’s not like you slapped my mother, stole my money, and drowned my cat. You’re just pregnant.” 

“You’re ridiculous,” Yuxin told him in frustration, even as a tiny smile began forming across her lips. 

Kun was glad to see some of the tenseness leave his girlfriend’s shoulders. Wrapping his free arm around her, he drew her slim body back against him. “Maybe I am, but I know you didn’t mean for this to happen. Neither did I. It’s no one’s fault so you shouldn’t feel bad.” 

Snaking both of her arms around him in a side hug, Yuxin squeezed Kun tightly as she buried her face in the soft folds of his black hoodie. The two continued embracing each other silently until Yuxin asked in a tiny, almost inaudible voice, “So what do you think we should do about it?” 

“About the baby?”

“Yes.” 

“We keep it, of course.” 

When Yuxin didn’t respond, Kun rubbed the side of her arm. “Something is still making you unhappy. What is it? Do you not want to keep it?” 

He really hoped that wouldn’t be the case because he didn’t know if he could accept the idea of Yuxin terminating their child.

To his relief, Yuxin replied, “No, that’s not it. I want this baby. I just…I don’t want you to feel forced into marriage and fatherhood.”

“I don’t feel forced.”

“But you’re still so young and at the peak of your career. This can’t be a good time.”

“Probably not. But this child still came, despite how careful we were. I think we should trust fate’s timing.” 

“You’re going to lose fans, KunKun.”

Kun let out a derisive snort. “If they attack or abandon me because of this, then they weren’t my fans to begin with.” 

“And people will say some terrible things…”

“I’m actually more worried that they’ll say terrible things about you,” This time it was Kun’s turn to pull away so that he could look into Yuxin’s face. “All the things that will happen to me, you’ll experience ten-fold. Will you be alright when that happens?” 

Yuxin stilled and didn’t say anything, her face blank. While Kun could usually read the nuances of his girlfriend’s placid expressions, there was a strange, distant quality in her features this time that inspired a rising sense of dread within him.

“Yuxin,” Kun said quietly, “the question you asked me earlier… Could it be that you’re feeling forced into this?” 

Hearing the pained note in her boyfriend’s voice, Yuxin shook her head rapidly. “No! No, that’s not it. That’s not it at all.”

“Then what is it?”

She hesitated briefly before saying, “I made my decision. I really did. But each time I think about what can happen to my career I feel…” Yuxin trailed off as she searched for the words.

“Scared? Unsure?”

Yuxin nodded, marveling at how he always seemed to know what she wanted to say. 

Kun turned his body so that he could gather Yuxin in both arms and press her fully against his chest. He bent his head over hers protectively. “It’s completely normal to feel that way. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

As they held each other again, Yuxin asked, “I’m surprised at how well you’re taking all of this. How are you so calm?”

This time it was Kun’s turn to fall a little quiet. He gave Yuxin one last squeeze before he released her and stood up from the sofa. She watched in confusion as he retrieved something from his overnight bag before returning to where she was sitting. “I bought this a few days ago,” he said by way of explanation.

Yuxin stared down at the velvet box that was now displayed in her boyfriend’s hand, astonishment written all over her face. “Kun, what?”

“I really thought the idea of you being pregnant was crazy,” Kun said as he opened the box to reveal a diamond ring with a platinum band and sparkling assher cut, “But a little voice inside me kept telling me to purchase this ring anyway. So I did. Needless to say, I’m glad I listened.”

Yuxin couldn’t seem to find her voice, her throat choked up with sudden emotion. “This is… How could… I mean, what if I wasn’t pregnant?”

Kun shrugged. “Then I would have kept it until the time when I could give it to you.”

“Kun...” 

Kun knelt down on one knee in front of Yuxin. Setting the box onto the coffee table, he took Yuxin’s hands in his own as he gazed adoringly at her beautiful features. “Yuxin, you have no idea how much I love you. Let’s get married.” 

When Yuxin nodded with glistening eyes and a sweet smile, Kun grinned brightly, cupped her face with both hands, and kissed her.


	5. Chapter 5

As Yuxin signed her name on the marriage license application form, next to Kun’s own, she was struck with the realization that this was it. She was now married.

“Congratulations, you two,” Shenjun said after he and Yiqi had signed their names as witnesses to the marriage. He had a large, jovial smile on his face.

“Really, congratulations! I’m so happy for you both!” Yiqi exclaimed with teary eyes and a similarly happy smile.

Seated next to her, Kun’s hand slipped under the table to rest a warm palm upon Yuxin’s thigh. “Thank you,” he told their managers with a grin.

Yuxin echoed Kun’s sentiments with a soft smile.

“I’ll bring this form and the rest of your documents to the marriage registration office first thing tomorrow morning,” Yiqi said.

“And I’ll pick up Yuxin’s parents from the airport,” Shenjun said. “We should be back by the time you two finish your wedding photoshoot tomorrow.”

When Kun and Yuxin nodded their assent to the plans, Yiqi said, “Now get some rest. You two have got a big day ahead of you.”

After they had bid their managers good night, Yuxin turned to Kun to say something; only to be caught off guard when he launched himself at her. Pressing his mouth against hers, his tongue slipped past her parted lips as he kissed her deeply.

The two stopped momentarily to draw much needed air into their tired lungs before they resumed kissing again. As they kissed, they moved closer to each other, clutching at each other with greedy hands. 

Breaking apart from each other a second time, Yuxin quickly pressed a hand to Kun’s chest to prevent him from moving in for a third kiss, “Wait,” she said in between gasps, “KunKun, what’s gotten into you?”

The corners of Kun’s eyes crinkled as he smiled widely. “Nothing. I’m just happy.” He took the hand that Yuxin had laid on his chest in his own and brought it up to his lips. Kissing it gently, he said, “I can’t believe you’re finally mine.”

Yuxin blushed. “What are you talking about? I was always yours.”

Impossibly, Kun’s smile only seemed to get wider. “I know. But now it’s official. Now guys like Gao Hanyu will know not to flirt with you anymore.”

Yuxin rolled her eyes. “Are you still on that? That was a year ago!”

“Hm.” Kun didn’t bother telling Yuxin that he was at the same event as Gao Hanyu a few months ago, and the other had asked Kun if he had Yuxin’s number. Needless to say, Kun had feigned ignorance.

“And you’re one to talk,” Yuxin continued. “You’ve got girls flirting with you all the time.”

“Like who?”

“Like Ouyang Nana.”

“You mean the Ouyang Nana who became more enamoured with you in the 3 weeks you two spent filming FOURTRY2 together, than she ever was with me in the 3 months that I dated her? Sure. She’s biiiiig competition.”

Yuxin pursed her lips, looking so adorable that Kun couldn’t help but steal another quick kiss from her.

When they parted, Yuxin said with a slight smile, “You’re ridiculous.”

“Only speaking the truth,” Kun said as he tugged Yuxin up from her seat. Leading her to the bed of their hotel room in Hunan, he gently guided her to lay down on her side with him. Stroking his fingers along her pretty face, he told her, “My wife’s a heart stealer.”

Yuxin blushed again. Unlike Kun, who was able to say the flirtiest things to her behind closed doors, she still struggled to express herself in words.

As Kun continued to smile adoringly at her, his hand running a slow, hot path down the side of her body, Yuxin decided to let her actions speak for her instead. Leaning forward, she touched her lips upon Kun’s tenderly, trying to convey through her kiss how thankful she was to have him for a husband. 

As Kun returned the kiss it seemed that he, like always, had gotten the message.

Yuxin arrived at their photoshoot venue just as the day was breaking. When Kun arrived twenty minutes later, he found her in the trailer getting her make up done.

“Hi,” Kun greeted with a wave, as if they hadn’t just woken up in each other’s arms less than two hours ago.

Yuxin smiled slightly and lifted a hand in response, careful not to disturb the make-up artist currently lining her eyebrows. 

While Kun and Yuxin had already begun the process of registering their marriage, it had been the determination of their respective agencies to keep the news of their nuptials under wraps until after Yuxin’s scheduled solo concert. That meant the two had to maintain their current façade for at least another three weeks - arriving and leaving separately, living apart, and generally acting as if they were mere acquaintances. While Kun was not thrilled about having to delay their married life, he understood it was in his wife’s best interest.

After all, the more time Yuxin could buy for herself before the media and netizens found out, the better.

When the two were finally ready and heading toward their first shoot location, Kun whispered to Yuxin, “How are you feeling?” He knew she was still experiencing bouts of morning sickness.

“I was a little nauseous when I first arrived but I’m alright now.” At Kun’s look of worry, Yuxin smiled reassuringly. “Don’t worry, I’ve already taken some vitamin B-6 supplements and I’m wearing this.” She rolled the sleeve of her oversized sweater up slightly to show the black acupressure band on her wrist.

Their conversation was disturbed by the photographer asking if they were ready to get started. When they both nodded in response, their photographer instructed, “Perfect. Just act as you normally do and I’ll direct as needed. I want these to look as candid as possible.”

Dressed in jeans and sweaters, the plan was for Kun and Yuxin to have a casual photoshoot outside in a flower field first before moving indoors for a more formal shoot in wedding attire. As Kun took Yuxin’s hand in his own for their opening shots, she couldn’t help but sneak a quick peek at his profile, admiring how handsome her husband looked against the rising sunlight.

A click of the shutter and Yuxin jumped and pulled away from Kun, startled. She had been so enthralled with looking at her husband, she had momentarily forgotten they were being photographed.

“Beautiful, Yuxin!” the photographer called out. “Just like that!”

Kun couldn’t help but smirk. “Trying to check me out, were you? Looks like the camera caught you in the act.”

“I wasn’t!” Yuxin protested automatically.

Kun reached over and lightly pinched the rim of Yuxin’s ears. “Your ears are turning red,” he teased.

When Yuxin reached up to swat his hand away, Kun grabbed hold of her forearm and pulled her into an embrace, chuckling the entire time. 

Beside them, the photographer grinned at the sweet scene as he continued clicking away.

At their indoor venue, Kun had the shock of his life when Yuxin walked out in a lacy, white wedding dress and long, wavy-haired wig. Her make-up was now heavier, with false eyelashes and thick eyeliner adorning her eyes.

“Yuxin, what…”

“Do you like it?” she asked.

“You look gorgeous but-”

Before Kun could continue his sentence, the photographer called them over for their first set of photos. Unlike the outdoor shoot where they were able to do whatever they wanted with minimal interference, they were now directed through a series of poses: Yuxin on a staircase looking down at Kun lovingly, Kun holding Yuxin from behind while they both smiled at the camera, the two of them gazing into each other’s eyes with their arms around each other’s waists… Basically, all the typical poses that any typical couple would do.

But the problem is we’re not a typical couple, Kun thought to himself when they were finally given a break. And Yuxin’s not your typical woman.

Standing up from his seat, he strode over to Yuxin who was getting her make-up retouched. “Excuse me,” he said politely to the make-up artist. “May I borrow my wife for a moment?”

He could almost see the make-up artist internally squeal at the words, ‘my wife.’ “Of course, go ahead,” she replied.

“Yuxin, come.” He held his hand out to his wife, who took it with a quizzical look. 

“KunKun, what’s wrong?” Yuxin asked as he led her away to a quieter part of the studio.

“Yuxin,” he said when they finally stopped walking, “why are you dressed like this?”

Yuxin stared, her eyes reflecting a mixture of hurt and confusion. “What? But I thought…do you not like it?”

Kun knew he had to choose his next words carefully. “It’s not that I don’t like it,” he replied. “I mean, look at you. You’re an absolute knockout. You always are. But I’m worried- I mean, are you comfortable wearing this?”

When Yuxin hesitated, he pressed, “Please be honest with me. Did someone put you up to this?”

Yuxin shook her head. “No,” she replied. “No one put me up to this.”

“Then why the dress and wig? I thought you hated dresses?”

“I don’t hate dresses,” Yuxin said. “I just don’t prefer them. As for why I chose to look this way…well, I wanted to give you a bit of a surprise. You know, give you some pictures of me looking like a proper bride.”

“Proper bride?” Kun sighed and wrapped one hand around Yuxin. Tilting her chin up with the other hand, he said firmly, “Yuxin, you’re MY bride. I’m marrying you, not some Kong Xue’er look alike. I just want you to look like you.”

Yuxin stilled. Then, she felt tears begin to well in her eyes. “KunKun, thank you,” she said softly. She gently touched her fingers to his hand. “How did I get so lucky?”

Kun smiled and took those fingers in his own, kissing the tips lightly. “I could ask you the same thing.”

With the help of the stylist and the make-up artist, they were able to change Yuxin’s look.

Kun couldn't help but whistle when he saw his wife come out in a cream-coloured white pantsuit, off-white bustier corset top, light make-up, and short hair. “As stunning as ever,” he declared.

And he meant it. While Yuxin had looked innocent and beautiful in the wedding dress, she looked powerful and sexy in the suit.

A and B indeed, he thought proudly.

Yiqi and Shenjun arrived at the photoshoot venue around the same time to pick them up. The plan for the afternoon was for Shenjun to bring Kun to his parents’ home and Yiqi to bring Yuxin back to the hotel to meet their respective parents. The two families would then convene for dinner at a restaurant in the evening.

While Yuxin and Kun had met each other’s parents already, this dinner marked the first time the two sets of parents would be meeting. To say the young couple was a little nervous about the gathering was a bit of an understatement. 

Just before they departed, the photographer handed them a wrapped package while complimenting them for a job well done. “My wedding gift to you,” he said when they asked him what the package was for. “And to thank you for a great shoot. The level of chemistry you two have together is phenomenal. I can’t wait for the world to see these pictures in a few weeks’ time.”

“Thank you for the gift and for today, GeGe,” Yuxin said. “We know how hard you worked to make this day special for us.”

“We also appreciate you and your staff keeping this a secret for us until then,” Kun added.

“It’s completely my pleasure,” the photographer replied. “And congratulations again. If what I saw today is any indication, you two are sure to have a happy marriage.”

Any worries Yuxin and Kun had about their parents not getting along pretty much disappeared in the first five minutes of dinner.

Watching their parents converse happily with each other, Kun leaned over to whisper in Yuxin’s ear, “Should we be worried that they like each other so much?”

“What do you mean?” Yuxin whispered back.

“Think of all the ideas they’ll come up with when we’re not around. They’ll end up planning the next ten years of our lives for us.”

Kun had a point. Right after they had determined where Yuxin and Kun planned to reside (Beijing), they began discussing who could help look after the grandchild when the couple was busy. It was determined that it made more sense for Yuxin’s side of the family to do so, given they would be relocating to the city over the coming months. The conversation then veered to the pregnancy itself.

“Yuxin,” Kun’s mother asked, “how have you been feeling these last few days? I heard from Kun that you have been experiencing some fatigue and morning sickness?”

“It was a little rough in the beginning but it’s been getting better, Auntie,” Yuxin replied. She then caught herself, remembering what Mrs. Cai had said to her earlier. “I mean, Mom.”

Beside her, Kun smiled. For some reason, hearing Yuxin calling his parents ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’ made him feel giddy inside.

“I still don’t think it’s good for you to be working as much as you are,” Yuxin’s mother interjected, continuing a conversation she had had with Yuxin earlier in their hotel room. “You just passed your second month of pregnancy. The first trimester is still a delicate time and there’s always a risk that you might lose the child. You should rest more.”

“I have, Mom. I just couldn’t change my schedule for this month because it was set last month. But I’m doing fewer activities next month.”

When Yuxin’s mother looked dissatisfied with her daughter’s answer, Kun jumped in to help her. “Yuxin just has to fulfill a few obligations for the products she’s endorsing, Mom.” Unlike Yuxin, Kun found it easy to adjust to calling Yuxin’s parents, ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad.’ “But she’ll likely take a break after she finishes filming Youth 4.”

“And when will that be done?” Yuxin’s mother asked.

“About three months from now?”

“Three months from now…” Kun’s mother said thoughtfully. “You’re likely going to be showing by then, Yuxin. Will that be a problem?”

“Luckily, Yuxin likes to wear baggy clothes so she may be able to hide it,” Kun said. “Who knows? Depending on how well people take our marriage announcement next month, we might also announce the pregnancy near the end of the Youth 4 filming.” When Yuxin gave him a look, Kun quickly backtracked, “We’ll have to discuss it more, of course.”

Kun’s father laughed at him. “Son, I think you just learned the first rule to marriage. Happy wife, happy life.”

After everyone had gotten a good chuckle at Kun’s expense, Yuxin’s mother asked, “Have you thought of baby names yet?”

“Mom!” Yuxin protested. “Isn’t too early to think about these things?” While she was grateful her mother and father had taken the news of her unplanned pregnancy as well as they have, she was finding them to be a little too eager about their unborn grandchild.

Kun glanced over at his parents who gave him the nod to go ahead. “Actually, Mom, Dad,” he said to Yuxin’s parents, “my parents and I were discussing this earlier. Since I wasn’t able to properly ask you for permission to marry Yuxin in advance, I thought it might be good for you two to name our first child.” He glanced quickly at his wife who was staring at him. “Er…that is, if Yuxin’s open to it, of course.”

“We’ve really got to chat about your habit of saying things without consulting me first, KunKun,” Yuxin said, but the smile spreading across her face showed that she wasn’t angry. How could she be when she saw how happy her parents looked at Kun’s suggestion? “But that sounds perfect to me.” She looked over at her in-laws with an appreciative smile. While Kun’s parents were more open-minded and forward-thinking than most, she knew it was still a huge concession for them to give the honour of naming their grandchild to her own parents. “Thank you so much, Mom and Dad.”

“Of course, Yuxin,” Mrs. Cai said with a kind smile. 

“Though I couldn’t help but notice Kun said first child,” Yuxin’s father teased. “Does that mean plans for a second child are already in the works?”

When both Kun and Yuxin blushed, the parents all laughed again.

After they had taken a group photo together after dinner, Mrs. Cai asked if she could speak to Yuxin privately. Stepping outside of their personal dining room, the two found a quiet area in the corridor.

Mrs. Cai took Yuxin’s hands in her own. “Yuxin, my dear,” she said warmly, “though I know the circumstances were a little unusual, I’m so happy to see you married to my son. I’ve always liked you.”

Yuxin looked down bashfully with a smile. “Thank you. I’ve always liked Auntie-” at Mrs. Cai’s little tut, she quickly corrected herself, “I mean, Mom, so much as well.”

“You know, it’s rather amazing how similar you are to my Kun. You’re both so mature, responsible, and perceptive for your age. It’s like you were made for each other.”

“Thank you.”

“But,” Mrs. Cai said, causing Yuxin to look at her mother-in-law with some trepidation, “I wanted to advise you to not let your similarities become your weakness.”

When Yuxin tilted her head slightly in confusion, Mrs. Cai elaborated, “Remember, a happy marriage - a strong marriage - is built on communication. I know you and my son have a tendency of keeping your troubles to yourselves. Please try not to do that anymore. If something is wrong, make sure you talk to each other about it. Don’t carry the burden on your own and don’t let your perception of a situation become reality.” She paused. “Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

Yuxin nodded. “Yes, Mom. I’ll do my best to try to express myself more with Kun. I’ll also try to encourage Kun to share more of his concerns with me as well.”

Mrs. Cai nodded. “Excellent.” Her eyes travelled over Yuxin’s face before she put her arms around the younger woman in a warm, motherly embrace.

When Yuxin wrapped her arms around the older woman in return, Mrs. Cai said fondly, “You’re really such a good child, Yuxin. You’ll be a great wife and mother, I’m sure of it.”

Yuxin’s arms slackened slightly in surprise before they tightened around her new mother-in-law. Her reply, though simple, relayed all the gratitude she felt at that moment, “Thank you.”


	6. Chapter 6

It was frightening how quickly things could turn.

48 hours after Yuxin and Kun’s dinner with their parents, Yuxin was onstage doing a livestream event for the milk tea beverage she was endorsing when Yiqi received a text from AMG’s Executive Assistant to the CEO.

Alarmed, Yiqi pulled Yuxin aside as soon as she got off stage. “We need to go back to the hotel now,” she said urgently.

“What’s wrong?” Yuxin asked.

“I don’t know yet. But considering the CEO asked us to call him as soon as we’re done, it can’t be good.”

When the pair was safely in Yuxin’s hotel room in Shanghai, Yiqi dialed the agency. They were put through to the CEO in a matter of seconds.

“Yuxin,” her CEO said as soon as they had connected via video, “there’s a bit of a situation.”

“What is it?” Yuxin asked, her heart racing.

“It seems someone took a video of you and Cai Xukun’s mother at the restaurant. There’s now speculation on Weibo as to your relationship with him.”

“What?” Yuxin was dumbfounded. “But how could that be? There was no one around us when we were speaking.”

“I guess there must have been a window you didn’t notice because the person shot her video through the glass from the outside of the restaurant. Luckily, there’s no sound and there’s even some debate going on online as to whether or not the woman is actually Kun’s mother. However, that doesn’t change the fact that there are currently rumours circulating on the internet about you two right now.”

Yuxin sat down heavily on the sofa, her legs suddenly feeling weak. Mind blank, she said the first thing that came to her head, “Why would someone do this to me?”

“To be fair, the person who posted the video had no malicious intent. She was just a fan of yours who was excited to have spotted you in Hunan. It was only afterwards that some of Kun’s fans identified the woman you were with as being his mother.”

“So what should we do about this?”

“Well, the good news is Kun’s mother’s identity is unconfirmed and there appears to be a fair number of people who believe the woman is no more than an uncanny look alike. The bad news is there are a number of tabloids who are already digging around for more information. We’ve received two calls in the last hour and I wouldn’t be surprised if there aren’t some companies who are already tracking you, Kun, and his parents. It may only be a matter of time, Yuxin, so we’ll need to act fast to figure out next steps.”

“Have you talked to Kun?” Yuxin asked.

“I’ve already had my Assistant contact his agency but from what I understand, he’s currently in the middle of filming and isn’t aware of what’s happened yet.”

“I can send him a message after this call. It may reach him faster.” 

“That would be great, Yuxin. But since there’s no telling when he’ll be available, I would suggest we try to come up with an action plan in the meantime.”

“What are my options?”

“Well, there’s really only three. The first is to disregard the rumours and hope they die out on their own. However, you’ll have to deal with the tabloids digging into your, Kun’s, and his parents’ lives for a period of time. The second is to announce your marriage now. It’ll allow you to get ahead of the communication curve but you’ll have to be prepared for the ensuing media frenzy. The third is for us to make up a story to release to the public. But your reputation will likely be damaged once you do reveal the truth.” Her CEO paused. “No easy choices, I’m afraid. What do you want to do?”

Yuxin wrung her hands, wishing Kun was with her. After a few minutes, she finally said, “This is too important an issue for me to make a decision right now. Can you please give me some more time to think about it? This also involves Kun’s mother so I really don’t feel comfortable making any calls without him.”

Her CEO sighed. “I understand, Yuxin. Talk to Kun first and then contact me as soon as you can.”

“So really our only options are to ignore, tell the truth, or lie,” Kun said.

“Pretty much,” Yuxin’s CEO replied.

They had managed to get a hold of Kun two hours later. He had just finished filming a variety show in Chengdu and was now on a video conference with Yuxin and the CEOs of their companies.

Whenever Kun looked at how pale and fragile Yuxin looked on screen, his heart ached. He wished he was in Shanghai with her so he could hold her.

“How’s your mother doing through all of this?” Kun’s CEO asked. “Has she been experiencing any trouble?”

“Nothing’s happened to her so far,” Kun said. “But she says she’ll let me know if anything changes.” 

“Have any tabloids called your company?” Yuxin’s CEO asked.

“No,” Kun’s CEO replied. “But that’s likely because the identity of the woman isn’t confirmed to be Kun’s mother yet.”

“How’s it look on the internet?” Kun asked. “Is anyone saying anything bad about Yuxin?”

“Luckily, no. Nothing negative aside from some mild fan wars,” Yuxin’s CEO replied. When Kun and Yuxin looked confused, he elaborated, “You know, between the people who support your CP and the people who don’t.”

“Ah, I see.” Kun nodded. He worried about how silent his wife had been throughout the call. “Yuxin, what do you want to do?”

“Me?” Yuxin asked, startled. “I thought you would make the decision.”

Yuxin was someone who agonized over decisions; always second-guessing her choices. Kun, on the other hand, was quick to decide; always trusting whatever his instincts told him. As a result, Yuxin ended up deferring to Kun more often than not. 

Kun stared at his wife, trying to read her expression through the tiny square screen on his phone. While he personally was fine with releasing the news of their marriage now, he was worried about what that would mean for her. What if this affects her solo concert or activities? he wondered. Will she blame me for the decision afterwards?

He finally said, “Let’s ignore it for now and just keep monitoring the situation over the next few days. I think there could be a chance that the problem will go away. If anything changes, we can always talk again.”

As he watched Yuxin voice her agreement, he wondered how she really felt.

Three days later and the interest in their relationship had ceased to subside. Instead, the speculation had only increased when it was determined that Kun was also in Hunan at the same time as Yuxin. A tabloid then released what they called an ‘exposé’ of Yuxin and Kun, analyzing every single one of their interactions during and since Youth with You 2 as proof of their secret relationship with each other. While the tabloid wasn’t very well known, it caused enough of a ruckus that some members of THE9 texted Yuxin to alert her of the article and ask how she was.

“In retrospect, we probably should have gone with your hukou and gotten our marriage registered in Guizhou instead,” Kun said on his video call with Yuxin. 

The couple still hadn’t been able to meet in person due to their respective work schedules, with Yuxin now in Shenzhen and Kun in Beijing. They were scheduled to meet in Shanghai in three days, and to say Kun was anxious for the day to arrive was an understatement. Though she hadn’t uttered a word of complaint, he could sense the worry radiating off of Yuxin in waves. 

“No one could have predicted this would have happened,” Yuxin replied. “And who’s to say that things would have been better in Guizhou? I likely would have been spotted there as well.”

Picking up on his wife’s despondent tone, Kun admonished, “Are you blaming yourself for this? Know that none of this is your fault.”

“It is my fault…if only I had checked the surroundings more carefully, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Yuxin-”

“And what’s worse is I dragged Mom into this as well,” Yuxin said with a sigh. Kun had very reluctantly, after she had pressed him repeatedly, revealed that his mother was being followed by a tabloid journalist these past few days. The news had weighed heavily on Yuxin ever since.

“Don’t worry about my mother. She’s fine,” Kun said. “If anything, she blames herself. She says none of this would have happened had she not asked to speak to you privately.”

“Tell her not to think that way, KunKun,” Yuxin said. “She’s not a celebrity like us. She has no reason to keep her guard up. I, on the other hand, should have been more alert.”

“Yuxin…” Kun said, wishing he was there to touch and comfort her in person. “Don’t say that. You’re being way too hard on yourself.”

Yuxin merely pressed her lips together into a thin line and shook her head. 

When Kun finally had the chance to meet Yuxin again, he swept her into his arms immediately. “How have you been?” he asked as he rested his head atop her hair.

The situation had only gotten worse in the last three days. Now some tabloid journalists were being bold enough to approach Kun’s mother and Yuxin with questions. While both parties had ignored whatever was being asked, the incidents proved to be a little unnerving.

Yuxin rested her head against her husband’s shoulder, grasping him tightly before releasing. “Come,” she said in response, “Our CEOs are waiting to talk to us.”

Kun watched her turn away, a little hurt by how she walled off her emotions from him. Reaching out for her hand, he pulled her back. When she looked at him in confusion, he surged forward and kissed her, trying to relay through his actions his desire for her to trust him with her thoughts and feelings.

Though Yuxin was surprised, she responded to her husband readily, opening her mouth to him as he deepened their kiss. Her hands crept to his waist and looped around his back, holding him to her as she leaned into him.

When the two finally broke apart, Kun touched his forehead to his wife’s. “Yuxin,” he began. He thought about what he could say to express his worries but found nothing suitable. He settled for a simple, “I love you.”

Yuxin gave him a smile, visibly more relaxed than she had been when Kun first entered the room. “I love you too.”

Kun returned her smile and pecked her on the forehead. “Ready?” he asked.

Yuxin nodded.

They sat together on the sofa as they called their CEOs. When everyone had connected to the conferencing system, they began discussing the most recent developments.

“Contrary to what we had hoped for, the news is only escalating,” Yuxin’s CEO said. “And we don’t anticipate it going away any time soon.”

“This is one of the times when your mutual popularity is turning out to be a bit of a curse,” Kun’s CEO said. “Your fanbases are both so massive that it’s spurring the tabloids to want to keep digging for answers. I imagine they’ll keep going until they get a resolution.”

“Or until there’s another story or scandal to distract them,” Yuxin’s CEO said. He tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Perhaps that might be another avenue to explore.”

“What do you mean by that?” Kun asked.

“Maybe we can create a story about another celebrity – something to take the attention off of you two.”

“No,” Yuxin said firmly, causing the three men to turn their attention to her. “I don’t want to drag more people into this than I have to.” Kun’s mother was bad enough but to deliberately cause trouble for someone else? She couldn’t. She just couldn’t.

“Then what are you comfortable doing, Yuxin?” Yuxin’s CEO asked.

Yuxin paused and looked over at her husband, expecting him to make the decision for the two of them again. However, this time all Kun did was take her hand in his own and squeeze. “Do whatever you think is right, Yuxin,” he told her. “I’ll support whatever choice you make.”

Bravery is the only response, Yuxin thought to herself. She decided now was the time to say out-loud what she had been thinking these past few days. “I choose truth.” She took a deep breath. “Let’s release the marriage announcement.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is one mildly spicy scene and some swearing in this chapter. I can’t do much about the swearing (as it’s embedded in two places in the fanfic) but if you’re not comfortable reading the mature scene, please feel free to skip the second section. The story should still make sense without reading it.

_It gives us great pleasure to be able to finally reveal the relationship and marriage of our artists, Cai Xukun and Liu Yuxin. After three years of quietly dating, the couple celebrated their special day with an intimate dinner with their families. To their beloved fans and the general public, we recognize that this announcement may come as a shock. However, we hope you will join us in congratulating Kun and Yuxin on their recent nuptials and in wishing them every happiness in their married life._

The photo that Yuxin and Kun had taken with their parents at the restaurant accompanied the official announcement from their agencies.

In coordination with their agencies, Yuxin and Kun posted personalized announcements on their own social media accounts the same time the official announcement went live. Yuxin had opted to put up a handwritten letter, along with four of the photos from their photoshoot. Kun had gone with a recorded video message and two photos from the photoshoot.

The reaction to their announcements was instantaneous.

As the responses began flooding in, Kun took his wife’s phone away from her.

“Don’t look at the comments tonight,” he said.

“But…” Yuxin protested, reaching for her device.

“No,” Kun said, holding it up in the air and out of her grasp. He stroked her cheek with his other hand, causing her to still. “Trust me.”

Unlike Yuxin, Kun had gone through scandals before. He knew from experience that it was better for one’s emotional and mental health to put a little distance between oneself and the situation at hand.

Yuxin pouted a little – a rare sight that melted Kun’s heart – and said, “But I won’t be able to sleep tonight without seeing what’s being said.”

A lascivious grin slowly spread across Kun’s face. “Who says we’ve got to sleep?”

Yuxin blushed but didn’t protest as Kun set her phone on a nearby table and pulled her into the bedroom of their hotel suite.

The next morning, Kun woke to see Yuxin sleeping soundly next to him. Though they often fell asleep cuddled against each other, Yuxin was a back sleeper by nature and often reverted back to her preferred position during the night. Shuffling closer to his wife, he turned on his side and propped himself up on one elbow. Mapping her face with his eyes, he admired her serene features - the straight bridge of her nose, her well defined lips, her sharp jaw line. 

He then rested his right hand upon her naked body. Stroking his hand from her collarbone to her chest, he caressed one of Yuxin’s breasts before cupping it in his hand. Running his thumb back and forth across her nipple until it hardened into a little pebble, he couldn’t help but notice how her breasts both looked and felt a little heavier than before, the areolas darker than usual.

A nice side effect of pregnancy, Kun thought. Though he loved Yuxin and, by extension, everything about her body, she had always been on the smaller side.

Reluctantly letting go of Yuxin’s breast to continue his exploration downward, his hand moved over the firm planes of her upper abs before stopping at her still flat belly. He marvelled at the fact that, just a few inches below where his hand was resting, their child was forming. 

Speaking of child…another unexpected benefit of Yuxin getting pregnant was the fact that they no longer had to use protection during intercourse. Having her slick, warm flesh around him without any barrier was proving to be addicting. He wasn’t sure he could go back to using condoms after the baby was born.

At this rate, we might end up having a second child a lot earlier than anticipated, Kun thought wryly.

His hand then moved further to the apex of her inner thighs, tracing along the entrance that was still wet from their activities a few hours ago. He couldn’t help but grin when he saw Yuxin twitch under his ministrations, obviously still sensitive. Just as he was about to slip a finger into her beckoning heat and fully wake Yuxin up from her slumber, he heard his phone ring loudly in the other room.

While he debated whether or not he should bother answering the call, his wife unfortunately made the choice for him.

Yuxin’s eyes opened immediately at the sound and she sat up, a little disorientated but alert. “The phone,” she said in a half-panicked tone.

Kun sighed, disappointed that his plans for a little morning fun had been disrupted. “I’ve got it,” he said. He stepped out of bed and retrieved his phone, noting with some amusement how Yuxin still averted her eyes when she saw him walking around nude in the morning. Crawling back into bed with her, he opened up the call history. 

He looked over at his wife. “It was my agency. Should we call them back?”

Yuxin nodded. “Let’s.”

Kun sighed again. Time to face the day.

As they had anticipated, Kun and Yuxin’s agencies were being bombarded with media requests. From talk shows to news articles, it seemed every outlet wanted to know the details of their love story. There was even one magazine that wanted them to do a cover shoot together. The requests were not limited to just them, it seemed, as some outlets had requested interviews with their parents as well.

After the two had showered, they met Yiqi and Shenjun for lunch and worked on their schedules for the next few weeks together.

When the four of them had finally finished planning everything, Yuxin leaned back in her seat and said ruefully, “My mom is not going to be happy with how much I’ll be working.”

Kun squeezed Yuxin’s leg under the table. “That’s true. But at least I’ll be with you most of the time. I’ll take care of you.”

“You two will see more of each other during this time than you have in the past three years,” Shenjun joked. “Don’t get sick of each other now.”

“I know the schedule is a little intense, but I think we should take this as a good sign,” Yiqi added. “It shows the media response so far has been largely positive.”

“I know,” Yuxin said. “I just hope that the online response will be equally as positive.”

When Yuxin and Kun returned to their hotel suite after lunch, they parked themselves on the sofa and began checking their phones. Before they started, Kun insisted that they limit themselves to an hour of usage, a comment which Yuxin hadn’t understood at the time but soon came to see the wisdom of.

The responses to her marriage announcement on her own social media accounts were largely supportive and congratulatory, with only a small number of her UMs expressing shock or displeasure at the news. However, the threads on Weibo and other public social media sites were downright nasty. As Yuxin scrolled through the various comments, she felt a sharp pain growing within her chest, as if the words were physically piercing her with their venom. 

_“What could Cai Xukun possibly see in Liu Yuxin? She doesn’t even look or act like a real woman.”_

_“Kun is so handsome and talented. He deserves someone beautiful and accomplished. She is not in his league. He really married down.”_

_“I can’t believe Liu Yuxin would lower herself to marry someone with as many scandals as Cai Xukun. She has no taste.”_

_“I bet she must have seduced or tricked him in some way.”_

_“I’m telling you, she must be pregnant. That’s the only reason why they would marry so quickly.”_

_“Cai Xukun is the worst. So arrogant, cocky, and perverted. Liu Yuxin shouldn’t have associated herself with him. Her good image and reputation are now ruined.”_

_“Fuck you, Liu Yuxin! How dare you take KunKun, you bitch! I hate you.”_

_“Calling for a boycott of all of Liu Yuxin’s songs, shows, and activities! Let’s cancel her.”_

_“I thought Liu Yuxin was smarter than most idols. Why would she do something as stupid as marry when her solo career is just starting? I’m so disappointed in her. And to marry Cai Xukun of all people? He’s not even that good looking!”_

_“Liu Yuxin’s career is as good as over now.”_

That last comment, in particular, hurt. It touched on a deep-rooted fear that Yuxin had been trying her best to ignore these past two months. Feeling her vision swim with tears, she took a deep breath and dabbed discretely at the corners of her eyes in hopes that her husband wouldn’t see.

Unfortunately for her, Kun saw. He had been disgusted by the vitriol he found in some of the online forums and had stopped reading already. Since then, he had been quietly observing Yuxin’s increasingly downcast expression as she read through the comments. The moment he saw her lower her phone and touch her eyes, he reached over and pulled her into a tight embrace.

Yuxin was startled. “KunKun, what…”

“Shhh,” Kun said as he placed a hand on the back of her head and forced her to lay against his chest. “I’m here for you. Let it out.”

However, even as Yuxin began relaxing in his hold, Kun noticed her tears never fell.

When Yuxin and Kun began checking their personal messages later that afternoon, they realized that they had overlooked a rather important issue. While they had prepared themselves for the angry response of netizens, they had neglected to consider the onslaught of disgruntled texts they would receive from their friends and former bandmates.

Little Anqi: Liu Yuxin! How dare you not tell us you had gotten married?!?!

Xiaotang: Yeah, I had to learn about your marriage from the news. What gives?

Yannie: …what they said.

Kiki: While I’m a little upset that you didn’t tell us about this news beforehand, I’m so happy for you and Kun-senior. I’m sure you two will have a very happy life together.

Keke: Yeah, congratulations to you and Kun.

Shaking: Why did you two get married so quickly? Don’t tell me you’re pregnant?

Yuxin winced as she read the group chat messages from THE9, feeling guilty for having hidden so many things from them. As it was generally considered bad luck to reveal a pregnancy before the end of the first trimester, she had only told Shuxin and Xue’Er of her condition. That did mean, unfortunately, that she hadn’t been able to tell her other friends of her plans to marry. She was in the midst of wondering what she could possibly say in response to Shaking when she received a personal message from Shuxin.

Little Aunt: Don’t worry about Shaking. Xue’Er and I’ll distract her.

Yuxin’s phone buzzed a few seconds later with two new messages in the group chat.

Little Aunt: Liu Yuxin. I can’t believe you didn’t allow us to celebrate your marriage with you beforehand. We need to organize a get-together ASAP.

Xue Jie: I agree! Let’s set up a date! When’s everyone free?

Yuxin couldn’t help but smile, grateful to have such loyal friends amidst such turmoil. She then glanced over at Kun who appeared to be dealing with his own blend of accusatory and congratulatory messages, if him muttering, “Wang Linkai, you little shit,” while he typed was anything to go by.

“Everything alright?” she asked.

“Yeah. Just the children being the children,” Kun replied. He paused. “Yuxin, I know we said we weren’t going to hold a ceremony but we should probably think about hosting a reception or a dinner at least. My friends are saying they want to celebrate our marriage with us.”

Prior to getting married, Yuxin and Kun had decided to donate whatever money they would have spent on a wedding ceremony to the China Foundation for Poverty Alleviation. Not only would that help answer any questions as to why they hadn’t held a ceremony but the decision was also in-line with their personalities. Being intensely private, they didn’t feel overly comfortable with all the pomp and circumstance a ceremony would entail. 

“I think that’s a great idea,” Yuxin said. “My friends are demanding that we find a time to celebrate too.”

“Then let’s set up a date,” Kun said. He took Yuxin’s hand and kissed it gently. “It’ll give us something to look forward to when the crazy starts.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am oddly nervous about this chapter. Not only because of the slight lime (which I worry I wrote like a textbook), but also because this chapter had different writing styles (for the text messages and netizen comments) and no consistent mood. I have no idea if any of it worked. I hope it did.


	8. Chapter 8

The next few weeks following the announcement consisted of as many highs as there were lows.

The day after the announcement the leaders of the UM and iKun fandoms mobilized their domestic and international members in a wedding gift campaign. Together, they sent a digital card containing thousands of congratulatory messages and made a substantial donation to the China Foundation for Poverty Alleviation in Kun and Yuxin’s names. Yuxin and Kun later learned that there had also been discussions amongst the fanclub leaders of running a congratulatory message across LED screens in some major cities. However, the idea had apparently been scrapped due to the fact that a large number of Kun’s fans were still having a hard time accepting the marriage.

“It can’t be helped,” Shenjun said when the four of them were in the green room waiting for Yuxin and Kun’s first media interview to begin. “The fantasy of Kun being single and available has now been shattered. Given the age and maturity level of most of Kun’s fans, it makes sense that they would struggle to digest the news.”

“Have you lost a lot of fans?” Yiqi asked Kun.

“I’ve lost some,” Kun replied, keeping his tone deliberately light, “but I expected as much.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the corner of Yuxin’s mouth turn downwards in dismay and he immediately knew she was feeling responsible for the loss.

It seemed Shenjun had also picked up on Yuxin’s mood because he added quickly, “Luckily, Kun has such a massive fanbase that there’s still a substantial amount of fans left over.” He reached over to Yuxin and clasped a brotherly hand on her shoulder. “So wipe that expression off your face, Yuxin. Kun’s days of being chased by rabid fangirls are far from over.”

When Yuxin didn’t look convinced, Kun asked Yiqi, “What about you guys? Did you lose any fans?”

“Very few, thank goodness,” Yiqi replied. “Yuxin’s fans tend to be older, as you know. While many were shocked that she had gotten married so quickly, they understood why she had to keep her relationship a secret. Most were just genuinely happy that she found someone worthy to love and cherish her.” 

Kun looked down a little shyly, a smile spreading across his face. He was glad to have the approval of Yuxin’s UMs.

“I just wish the netizens had the same reaction as them though,” Yiqi continued with a small sigh.

The group fell quiet. All were aware of the negative comments that continued to pervade the internet, with Yuxin, as expected, unfairly bearing the brunt of the malice. For every disparaging and cruel comment that Kun got, Yuxin got three. What made it worse was some of the comments towards her were threatening and frightening, with one user even going so far as to say she was going to kill Yuxin.

Realizing she had brought the mood down, Yiqi added quickly, “But hopefully, these media interviews will help turn the tide.”

“I think they will,” Shenjun said optimistically. A devilish grin crossed his face. “Once everyone learns how Kun basically stalked Yuxin until she agreed to date him, they’ll realize that he was the one doing all the seducing, not the other way around.”

“Hey!” Kun protested while Yuxin’s ears turned red. “I didn’t sedu- I am not a stalker!”

“No?” Shenjun teased. “Then who was the guy who watched all of Yuxin’s-”

“Look at the time!” Kun interrupted, grabbing Yuxin by the hand and hoisting her to her feet. “I think we need to get miked for our interviews now.”

As Kun dragged his unresisting wife away, he discretely flipped the bird to his laughing manager behind him.

As the interviews progressed, Yuxin began to feel more at ease sharing her and Kun’s story. She had been worried that the two of them would be given difficult or intrusive questions. However, all the interviewers had been kind and the questions had been respectful. Some stations even showed their support by giving them wedding gifts afterwards.

When they were resting in their hotel room after an intense week of interviews, Kun turned to Yuxin and grinned. “Well, we survived.”

“We did,” Yuxin agreed as she took Kun’s hand in her own. When he tried to fold his fingers around her in a hand hold, she shook her head. “Wait.”

“What is it?”

Yuxin lifted his hand to her face, her eyes focused intently on the piece of platinum wrapped around Kun’s left ring finger. She then closed the distance and pressed her lips gently upon the metal. Pulling back, she smiled softly at her husband. “I love you.”

Kun stilled, surprised his usually reticent wife was able to express herself so plainly. “What brought this on?” he asked, his voice suddenly going low and husky.

Yuxin shrugged, unwilling to tell him that his handling of the past few weeks only served to reinforce how blessed she felt to have him as her husband. There could be no better person that she could think of to walk down the twisted and winding paths of life with. “No reason.”

When Kun opened his mouth to continue questioning her, Yuxin looped a hand behind his head and pulled him down to her height. “Shhh,” she whispered against his mouth, “You’re talking too much.” She then surged forward and kissed him hungrily before pushing him back to lie on the bed. 

After their first interview aired, Kun and Yuxin began to see the narrative about them change. While there were still some people online who viewed Yuxin as the devil, they were starting to dwindle in number. Instead, a few threads praising the KunXin or Chanel couple, as they were starting to be known, began trending on Weibo. Many people gushed about how obvious Kun was in his affection for Yuxin, while others noted how surprisingly feminine Yuxin was when she was in Kun’s presence. ‘Cai Xukun’s eyes say it all’ and ‘Liu Yuxin, the unexpected little woman*’ were hot topics for a few days following. 

Another benefit of their appearance in mainstream media was the tabloids found them less interesting to cover, now that the air of scandal had dissipated and there was no longer an opportunity for a salacious scoop.

As such, when Yuxin walked out of the venue of her solo concert a few weeks after this whole incident had started, she was pleasantly surprised to find that there didn’t seem to be any tabloid reporters trying to ask her questions for once.

Unable to believe her good luck, Yuxin continually scanned the group of onlookers, trying to ascertain that her eyes weren’t deceiving her. As she took in the crowds of her loving fans, all screaming her name and trying to shove letters and small gifts at her, she couldn’t help but notice a quiet girl wearing a black face mask. The girl stood a few feet back from the crowd, close to where Yuxin's car sat waiting.

When their gazes crossed, the girl’s eyes narrowed slightly before she dipped her head in a polite nod. Not waiting for Yuxin to return the gesture, the girl then turned and left, her long, straight black hair swaying slightly as she walked away.

“Yuxin,” her bodyguard said when he noticed she had paused in her steps, “what’s wrong?”

Yuxin shook her head, unsure of what to make of the interaction. “It’s nothing.”

A few days after Yuxin’s solo concert, Kun and Yuxin finalized the purchase of their new home in Beijing. While they had both been too busy to see the place themselves, they had flown their respective mothers in to view the luxurious 5-bedroom condo on their behalf. Similar to the place Yuxin had shared with Kong Xue’Er and Shaking, their new condo unit took up the entire floor and came equipped with its own private entrance, elevator, and security system.

As they sat side by side during a break at their magazine cover shoot, Kun turned to Yuxin and smiled. “I’ve already put up my current condo for sale. I think I can probably start moving into our place a month from now. What about you?”

“Same here,” Yuxin replied. “Though I do have 2 days off next week, as you know. Since we already have the place, I might as well begin moving a few of my things in.”

Kun pouted a little. “Aww. Don’t move in then. Come join me in Shanghai. I finish work early on one of those days. We can get some dinner together and then take a walk along the waterfront. The Bund is beautiful at night.”

“That sounds lovely, KunKun, but I feel like it might be better to get a head start and move in early. It’ll be less overwhelming for us later on.”

“Oh come on, Yuxin. We can just hire a company to do it all for us later.”

“But…”

“Think about it, Yuxin. We’ve spent 3 years pretty much dating in hotel rooms. Now that everyone knows we’re married, we don’t need to hide anymore.” He put his hand atop Yuxin’s, tapping his index finger against her wedding and engagement rings. “Don’t you think it’s high time I took you out on a proper date?”

Yuxin opened her mouth to protest again but one look at her husband’s puppy eyes and she found herself relenting. “Fine, you win,” she said, as a small smile crept across her face at his cuteness. “It’s hard to argue when you put it that way.”

Kun grinned triumphantly and squeezed Yuxin’s hand.

“Speaking of our new place though,” Yuxin said after a few seconds, “why did you insist on getting such a big condo? Don’t you think it’s a little excessive?”

“Why not? It’s not like we can’t afford it.”

“It’s not about the money. It’s about the practicality of it. I mean, did we really need 5 rooms?”

Kun blinked. “But we’ll need a guest room and an in-home studio, right?”

Yuxin looked confused. “Okay. But that’s still only 4 rooms.”

“No, it’s five. One for you and I, two for the kids, one for a studio, and one as a guest room.”

Yuxin froze, her jaw dropping open in shock. “Kids?” she repeated rather stupidly.

Kun nodded. “Of course. You didn’t think we’d stop at one, did you?”

As Yuxin continued to stare, Kun couldn’t help but think how adorable she looked with her mouth slightly agape. First glancing around quickly to see if anyone was looking, he then leaned over and stole a quick kiss from her. 

After their photoshoot, Yiqi approached Yuxin and Kun with a grim look on her face.

“What’s wrong, Jiejie?” Yuxin asked.

“Where’s Shenjun-ge?” Kun said at the same time.

“He’s making a few important phone calls and will join us later,” Yiqi replied. “In the meantime, let’s find somewhere private to chat. I’ve got some news to share.”

When they were all seated in the mini-van, with Yuxin and Kun in the back seat and Yiqi in one of the middle seats, Yiqi began speaking again, “There’s unfortunately been a development.”

“What kind of development?” Yuxin asked tremulously, her heart beginning to palpitate.

“There’s a story about one of Kun’s fans that broke an hour ago. Apparently, this girl was having a really hard time coping with the news of your marriage. She had been losing weight, losing sleep, crying everyday, shutting people out…basically, going through the symptoms of heartbreak and depression. However, things got really bad after she watched your interviews and unfortunately, she totally lost it today."

“What did she do?” Kun asked.

There was a lengthy pause, and then Yiqi sighed. “She killed herself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *In Chinese, there is a phrase called 小女人 (xiao nu ren / little woman). It describes the stereotypical Asian woman who is soft-spoken, docile, sweet, and deferential. While I’m not suggesting Yuxin would be like that all the time, I do believe people are complex and multi-faceted creatures who display certain traits depending on their circumstances and whom they’re with. (I can tell you that I have sometimes acted like a 小女人 with former boyfriends despite being a fiercely independent woman.) As such, I’d like to believe that Yuxin would trust Kun enough to act like that too from time to time.


	9. Chapter 9

“I want to stress to everyone how precious and important you are. You’ve all got so much to live for; and there’s still so much you can do for the world and for yourself. Please don’t cut your potential short. Please don’t do anything that will cause harm to yourself. Nothing and no one is ever worth you taking your own life.” A tear cascaded down Kun’s right cheek while he was speaking. Wiping it away quickly with a finger, he cleared his throat and forged on, “So it’s important that you continue to be happy and healthy and safe, okay? Please.”

Kun’s voice broke with his next words, “Please. You all mean so much to me.”

Yuxin watched the live stream of her husband’s public message to his fans on her phone, her heart aching fiercely as she took in his pained expression and pleading voice. She wished desperately that she could be by his side to support him but she was already scheduled to be in Chimelong for Youth 4. When she had suggested to Kun that she pull out of her shooting to accompany him, he had vehemently declined her offer.

Yuxin pressed her lips together as she recalled their conversation the day before. 

_“This is my problem, not yours,” Kun said. “Don’t let this disrupt your work.”_

_“But this girl killed herself over our marriage,” Yuxin protested._

_“It has nothing to do with you. She was my fan so this is my responsibility. Don’t let this bother you, Yuxin. I’ll handle it.”_

Though Yuxin understood Kun was only trying to shield her from the situation, the words, ‘It has nothing to do with you,’ stung. She felt as though she had been dismissed.

He’s already been losing fans and now this, Yuxin thought. This marriage has brought him nothing short of trouble. I wonder if he blames me on some deep subconscious level? And if he does, who can fault him? After all, and here Yuxin’s reflections took on a despondent tinge, I blame myself too.

Logically, Yuxin knew her feelings of guilt were ridiculous and uncalled for. It was unreasonable for other people to dictate her and Kun’s lives. They were their own people, with their own spirits and destinies. It was their prerogative to choose what was best for them; and if their decisions and actions didn’t make people happy, well, that shouldn’t be their fault.

But knowing something and feeling something were always too different things.

It also didn’t help that the same netizens who hated Yuxin and Kun were now calling them murderers online, saying that they were basically responsible for the girl’s death. The legal departments of their agencies had considered filing a defamation suit in response, but both Yuxin and Kun had talked their companies out of the idea. Both didn’t want this issue to escalate or drag out for longer than it had to.

“Yuxin?” Yiqi called, entering the empty training room where Yuxin had hidden herself. “It looks like Kun has finished his broadcast. Are you ready to head back to the hotel now or would you like a little more time on your own?”

Yuxin clambered to her feet. “Let’s go back,” she told her manager.

As they exited the room, they saw a group of trainees chatting happily with each other in the hallway. When the girls saw Yuxin approaching them, their eyes lit up with excitement and they immediately bowed and chorused, “Hello, Teacher Yuxin.”

“How is practice going?” Yuxin asked kindly. They were close to the end of filming, with the collaboration stage happening next week.

“It’s a little tough but we’re managing, Teacher Yuxin,” a girl by the name of Han Sasa, who reminded Yuxin of Anqi in both height and temperament, responded.

As they conversed, Yuxin was struck with the sudden realization that these girls had no idea what was going on right now. Being on the show, they were oblivious to the world outside of the four walls of the Chimelong buildings. Yuxin additionally made it a point not to wear her engagement or wedding rings at the Youth 4 shootings, fearing she might damage the items while dancing. As such, these trainees had no idea that she had married Kun, that there was libel out there about them, and that a girl had recently died because of their union.

Yuxin couldn’t help but perversely wonder if the trainees would still be as amicable to her if they did know. She was sure that half, if not all, of them were Kun’s fans. In fact, she had even overheard two girls bemoan the fact that he hadn’t returned as PD since Youth 2. Would they feel as if she had stolen Kun from them too?

“Teacher Yuxin, what do you think?”

When all the girls looked at her expectantly, Yuxin realized she had not heard a word of what they said. Mentally berating herself for being so rude as to zone out, she apologized, “I’m so sorry. I don’t think I caught that. Would you mind repeating your question?”

After they finished their conversation, Yuxin waved goodbye to the trainees and followed Yiqi out of the building. The minute they stepped out into the open, she was greeted with a gaggle of fans calling her name and taking videos of her on their cell phones. After she had straightened from her respectful greeting bow, her eyes landed on a familiar face.

The girl with the black face mask and straight black hair was here again. Similar to last time, she stood slightly off from the crowd, closer to Yuxin’s vehicle. Now that the girl’s body wasn’t being blocked by other people, Yuxin could see that she was wearing a large, brown cross-body bag – a fashion choice that seemed at odds with her fully black apparel.

When their gazes crossed, the girl nodded in acknowledgement again. However, unlike last time, she didn’t walk away. Instead, she quietly watched Yuxin board her car, her eyes radiating such intensity that it made Yuxin unconsciously shiver.

Kun wished the suicide didn’t bother him as much as it did. But the fact of the matter was it weighed heavily on his mind for days. As much as he strove to be logical and rational, he was by nature an emotional person. As such, knowing someone had killed herself because of him shook him to the core.

It didn’t help that the girl’s parents had initially wanted to sue Kun and Yuxin for their daughter’s death. They only dropped their threats when they realized their case, which was built upon causal links, wouldn’t likely hold up in a court of law.

When Kun had suggested that he at least help the family by paying for the girl’s funeral, he was firmly advised against it by his agency’s lawyer. That, his lawyer had posited, could be seen as an admission of guilt and could subsequently make it easier for the family to sue him and Yuxin. As such, Kun had no choice but to watch as the family dealt with the unexpected death of their daughter and the netizens accused him and Yuxin of being heartless.

Yuxin knew none of what was happening with the girl’s family.

Aware that Yuxin was already blaming herself for everything that had happened since they had to announce their marriage, Kun didn’t want her to be furthered burdened with what was going on. Especially when she was the last person to deserve it.

In Kun’s eyes, his wife was pretty much a saint. She had her flaws, of course, but they paled in comparison to her many traits. It blew Kun’s mind why people would hate and want to hurt someone as upright and kind-hearted as Yuxin.

Speaking of his wife, Kun felt sorry for how he had been treating her recently. He had been so pre-occupied with the legal and emotional issues surrounding the suicide that he hadn’t been in the right frame of mind to text or call her.

Opening his chat history, he saw, much to his dismay, that the last time he had texted her was right before they met for the magazine photo shoot. That was three days ago.

While he did wonder why Yuxin had not reached out to him either, he chalked it up to her likely wanting to give him space. She was thoughtful like that.

Opening up a new chat, he quickly texted her, ‘My wife, I miss you. When will you be arriving in Shanghai?’

Yuxin was woken by the shrill buzzing of Kun’s cell phone alarm. Sitting up groggily, she picked up the phone and put it on snooze before turning to her husband who was still slumbering on his side.

Shaking his shoulder gently, she called, “KunKun, it’s time to get up.”

Kun groaned and turned over on his back. Without opening his eyes, he reached up and pulled Yuxin into his embrace, causing her to land on top of him with her cheek pressed against his bare chest. “Just five more minutes,” he murmured.

“KunKun!” Yuxin made a half-hearted attempt to push herself up but stopped struggling when he merely tightened his hold in response. She sighed. “Fine, I’ll give you five minutes.”

Above her head, Kun smiled sleepily in triumph before he went back to snoozing.

Making herself comfortable on top of her husband’s warm body, Yuxin recalled how surprised she had been to receive his text message a few days ago. Given all that was going on, she had thought he would have forgotten about their planned date in Shanghai. 

She was glad he hadn’t though.

The date had been exactly what they needed, allowing them the opportunity to reconnect with each other after several days of silence. Kun was clearly happy to see her again, and the two had spent most of the evening discussing their plans for the future, looking forward to what they could do together when things had settled down and they were both less busy.

There was one conversation they had that lingered in Yuxin’s memories in particular.

_“We’ve yet to travel anywhere together,” Yuxin said. “Even going someplace close like Japan could be a lot of fun.”_

_“I think that’s a good idea,” Kun replied. “When the baby is a little older, let’s plan for a vacation abroad next year.”_

His comment made Yuxin realize that, unlike Kun, she hadn’t factored their baby in any of her plans.

She was afraid to think of what that meant.

The alarm rang again, indicating that it was now out of snooze mood. Renewing her efforts to get out of her husband’s embrace, Yuxin wiggled in his grasp. “KunKun,” she told him, “it’s been more than 5 minutes. Time to get up.” When he wouldn’t let go, she placed both hands on his waist and tickled him. When he still didn’t budge, she pinched him.

“Ouch!” Kun sat up quickly, the movement so abrupt that Yuxin was nearly thrown off of him. He rubbed his side with an exaggerated pout, looking down at his wife who now lay on the bed watching him. “That hurt, Yuxin. I think you need to kiss it better.”

Yuxin sat up and gave him a playful but gentle shove. “I gave you enough kisses last night to last you for a good while. It’s time for you to get moving. You’re going to be late for work.”

“Aww. One for the road then.” Before Yuxin could react, Kun bent down and kissed her exposed breasts before pecking her on the lips. Then, with a cheeky grin in her direction, he jumped out of bed to get ready for the day.

It happened so quickly that Yuxin couldn’t even process it.

She had just finished shooting the collaboration performances in Chimelong and was about to step into her car to go back to her hotel when her bodyguard suddenly shoved her. Hitting the car door with a loud thud, Yuxin found herself momentarily disorientated. She could hear shouts and screams, and smell the acrid scent of smoke in the air, but everything felt muted and fuzzy – almost as if she was underwater. She then felt hands shoving at her, forcing her to enter the open car. Dazed, Yuxin followed the person’s direction and stepped into the backseat obediently. The person then slid in beside her and slammed the car door shut behind them. The engine started.

“Are you okay?” the person – Yiqi, it turned out to be – asked urgently.

“Yes,” Yuxin responded, her voice coming out quivery and weak. “What happened?” 

“A girl tried to throw something at you while you were getting into the car – a smoke bomb it looked like. Luckily, Jialun saw it and pushed you aside before it could hit you.”

Yuxin looked around the car and saw only her, Yiqi, and the driver in the vehicle with them. “Where’s Jialun-gege now?”

“He’s back at the scene dealing with the culprit.”

“They caught her?”

“Yes. She tried to run but luckily, some of your fans were able to stop her from getting away. Thanks to them, Jialun was able to immobilize her quickly. He’s waiting for the police to arrive now.”

“I see,” Yuxin said faintly, “I’ll have to thank him when I see him later.”

Yiqi looked Yuxin over, noticing how pale she was. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

Yuxin nodded. “Yes. I just feel a little...” she searched for an appropriate word, “shaken by what happened just now.”

“That’s understandable.” Yiqi reached out and gently stroked Yuxin’s hair in a motherly fashion. “Try not to think about what happened too much. We’ll deal with it tomorrow, okay?”

Yuxin nodded again. Staring out the window, she gazed at the traffic around her with unseeing eyes and a blank mind.

As the minutes passed and she felt the shock begin to slowly wear off though, Yuxin started to feel acutely unwell. Her head felt heavy and there were sudden jolts of white hot pain that stabbed in unrelenting waves at her lower abdomen. Trying to quell the ache, she pressed her palm firmly upon the area.

Yiqi soon noticed her discomfort and asked in alarm, “Yuxin, what is it? Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine, JieJie,” Yuxin bit out between slightly gritted teeth. The pain in her abdomen was so intense it was turning out to be an effort to sound normal. “I’m just experiencing some stomach pain, I think.”

“Do you need anything? I have pain relievers.”

“No, I’m alright. I think I may just need to lie down.”

Despite Yuxin’s placid words, the sheen of unshed tears and the twisted expression on her face told Yiqi that something was very wrong. “I think it may be something more serious, Yuxin. Let’s go to the hospital, alright?”

“JieJie.”

“Even if it turns out to be nothing more than a stomach ache, at least the doctor will be able to prescribe something, yeah?”

“We’ve arrived,” their driver announced before Yuxin could reply, pulling up to the hotel they were staying at.

“See, Jiejie?” Yuxin said with her best attempt at a smile. “We’re here already. Nothing to worry about.” She opened the door and stepped out of the car with wobbly legs, only to immediately crumple on to the paved ground in intense agony.

Behind her, Yiqi screamed. Yuxin’s pants and the leather seat she was sitting on were stained red with blood.


	10. Chapter 10

It was eight long hours before Kun was finally able to make it to Yuxin's side in Chimelong.

He had been in Beijing when Yiqi had called to tell him about the attack and Yuxin's hospitalization. To say the news had floored him would be an understatement. He had stood there in a state of shock for several minutes, completely frozen in place as Yiqi called out his name over the phone, asking him if he was still there. It was only thanks to Shenjun that he was able to finish the call and book the earliest flight out of Beijing.

Waiting for his flight had been hell. Though Shenjun had begged him to get some rest, every time Kun closed his eyes images of Yuxin covered in her own blood flooded through his mind and he found himself jolting out of whatever shallow sleep sheer exhaustion had forced him into.

It didn't help that he didn't have any idea as to the severity of his wife's condition. Yiqi had told him that Yuxin had fallen unconscious soon after arriving at the hospital so he hadn't been able to speak to her. The hospital staff had conducted a number of scans and tests on her, but the results hadn't been released yet.

His only minor solace was the attacker had been caught and was currently being questioned by police. Yuxin's bodyguard, who was at the police station, had promised to update them as soon as the interrogation was over. Though the attacker's motives were currently unknown, Kun had a very bad feeling that the attack likely had something to do with him.

After all, Kun thought gloomily as he and Shenjun trailed after the nurse who was leading him to Yuxin's room, he had caused his wife nothing but trouble since their marriage went public.

The nurse stopped in front of a closed door. "She's in there."

"Thank you," Kun told her. He then glanced over at his manager.

"Go on in," Shenjun said. "I'll wait for you in the cafeteria. Just send me a text when you're ready."

Kun nodded. "Thank you, Ge." Opening the door, he walked in to see Yuxin lying on the bed with her eyes closed, an IV drip hooked up to her left arm.

As if sensing his presence, Yuxin opened her eyes slowly. "Kun?" she called softly.

He immediately rushed to her side, dipping his head in thanks to Yiqi who got up from her seat next to Yuxin's bed, letting Kun take her place. "I'm here." He took his wife's hand in his own. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yes," Yuxin replied. Seeing Yiqi already heading toward the door, she said, "You don't need to leave, JieJie."

Yiqi shook her head. "It's better that I give you two some time alone. If you two need me I'll be in the cafeteria."

"Thank you, Yiqi-jie. Shenjun-ge’s in the cafeteria already, so you'll have some company," Kun said.

Yiqi nodded. "Perfect. I'll see you two later then."

As soon as the door closed behind her, Kun turned his attention back to Yuxin. Taking in his wife in her oversized hospital gown, he was suddenly struck with how tiny and vulnerable she looked. A lump lodged itself in his throat. "Yuxin, I..."

"Shh," Yuxin said gently, as she took in her husband's anguished face and glimmering eyes. "Don't look like that, KunKun." She gave the hand that held hers a gentle squeeze. "I'm alright. I'm okay."

"No, you're not," Kun responded as he held Yuxin's hand closer to his chest, a tear finally slipping out of his eye and cascading down his cheek. As he thought about how he had failed to protect her, he found other tears following, each droplet splashing onto Yuxin's hand like rain. "You shouldn't be in here. This shouldn't be happening to you."

"KunKun..." Yuxin murmured, a little frightened by what she was seeing. In all their years together, she had never seen Kun cry like this. "KunKun," she tried again, pleading with her voice for him to look at her, "I'm alright, don't cry. Don't cry, please."

But her words fell on deaf ears as Kun hunched over her, his shoulders heaving silently with the weight of his pain.

"Miscarriage?" Kun repeated, unable to keep the fear from permeating his voice. Beside him, Yuxin turned pale, her fingers knotted together so tightly her knuckles turned white.

"Threatened miscarriage," the doctor, a woman by the name of Dr. Chen Huiying, stressed. "meaning the baby is still alive, just at risk."

"So...there's a chance that our baby could die?" Kun asked.

"We can't rule it out as a possibility, unfortunately," Dr. Chen said truthfully, "but the good thing is Yuxin's ultrasound and hCG levels look normal and her cervix is still closed. Had her cervix dilated, a miscarriage would have been inevitable."

"So if everything looks normal, why is there still a threat?" Kun asked.

"Typically, women only experience mild abdominal pain and light bleeding during a threatened miscarriage," Dr. Chen explained, "But the severity of Yuxin's abdominal pain and her heavy bleeding are concerning. As such, I'd like her to come in for two more appointments this week so that I can continue monitoring."

"What do you think might have caused this?" Yuxin asked, finally able to find her voice.

"The reasons vary, but in your case, I do believe you may have received some trauma to your abdomen when you were attacked."

Kun gritted his teeth. Beside him, Yuxin asked hesitantly, "Will the baby still be okay?"

"You mean after he or she is born?"

"Yes."

Dr. Chen smiled reassuringly. "Yes. Threatened miscarriages are more common than you think – about 20% of women have them in the first 20 weeks of their pregnancies. And these women still do go on to give birth to healthy children." She paused before adding, "Given you're almost 16 weeks into your pregnancy, I would say we have reason to be optimistic. I just want to make sure you're fully in the clear before I send you on your way, okay?"

After Kun and Yuxin nodded in understanding, Dr. Chen handed Yuxin a prescription for progesterone supplements and bid them goodbye.

The next appointment would be in two days' time.

For the next two days, Yuxin was pretty much in lockdown in Kun's hotel room. Thanks to her fans uploading their videos and photos of the attack online, her story was already a hot issue on both social media and the mainstream news. Though her company released a statement confirming her safety, it didn't stop paparazzi from swarming the hotel she was originally staying at in Chimelong.

The media also revealed who the attacker was and Yuxin found herself oddly unsurprised to see it was the girl with the black face mask. What she couldn't understand was why the girl had waited so long to assault her.

"She was observing you," Jialun said when they met in the living room of Kun and Yuxin's hotel suite a few hours after Yuxin had been discharged. "She was trying to determine what angle would be best to strike you at, how quickly she could get away afterwards – basically trying to plan out her crime. Unfortunately for her, she didn't expect myself or your UMs to react as quickly as we did. Otherwise..." here he trailed off, unwilling to voice out-loud what they were all thinking.

Otherwise, Yuxin would have been seriously hurt.

What the girl had thrown at Yuxin was a smoke grenade made of white phosphorus. While not necessarily lethal because Yuxin had thankfully been out in the open, it still could have burned or poisoned her had the grenade made contact.

"Do we know the girl's motives?" Yiqi asked.

Jialun shifted in his seat, suddenly uncomfortable. "Yes," he said after a very long pause. "Yes, we do."

From the way Jialun was avoiding his gaze, Kun automatically knew what he was going to say. The realization made him feel sick to his stomach. "Excuse me," he said hurriedly. Standing up from his seat, he left the room.

"KunKun!" Yuxin called after him. She made to get up but Shenjun grabbed her by the arm and shook his head.

"Give him some time, Yuxin," Shenjun said.

"But, GeGe-"

"No, Yuxin. Trust me on this."

"But perhaps KunKun might be jumping to conclusions?" Yuxin asked, her voice a little desperate.

"No," Jialun cut in before Shenjun could reply. "I wish he was, but his assumptions are correct." He sighed. "The girl was one of his fans."

After everyone had left, Yuxin found Kun sitting alone on their bed, staring blankly into space. The swollenness of his eyes told her that he had been crying.

"KunKun," she whispered as she crawled onto the bed next to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Leaning her head against his shoulder, she said softly, "It's okay."

While Kun didn't reply, he did raise one arm to hold her closer to him. For a long time, the two held each other in silence.

At last, Yuxin said, "KunKun, I know you must be blaming yourself for this but don't. You can't control what one bad fan did. This is not your fault."

When Kun still didn't say anything, she lifted her head from his shoulder. Using one hand to turn his face towards her, she told him, "Speak to me, please."

Kun looked into her begging eyes and finally said in a low voice, "But you and our child got hurt."

"But I'm alright now," Yuxin replied. "And that's what's important, right? As for the child..." she paused slightly, "he or she will be alright too."

"We don't know that yet."

"No, but," and here she used both hands to cup his face, "wallowing in sorrow isn't going to help our baby either. We've got to stay strong and have faith, KunKun. There's nothing we can do otherwise."

The two gazed at each other for a few long moments. Finally, Kun nodded.

Letting out a breath that she hadn't realized that she been holding, Yuxin shifted forward to press her warm cheek against his cool one.


	11. Chapter 11

“Are you still experiencing bleeding?” Dr. Chen asked during their first follow-up appointment.

“Yes,” Yuxin replied. “But much less than before.”

“Still enough bleeding to require using a pad or panty liner though?”

Yuxin bit her lip. “Yes.”

“Hmm.” Dr. Chen typed a few notes into her computer. “And are you still experiencing abdominal pain?”

“Only mild pain now.”

Dr. Chen’s forehead creased slightly before she nodded.

“Is everything alright, Doctor?” Kun asked in a worried tone, placing one hand on Yuxin’s knee.

“I was hoping the progesterone would have reduced the bleeding and abdominal pain more quickly,” Dr. Chen told them. “But that doesn’t necessarily mean things are awry. Yuxin’s body may just need more time to recover than most.” She stood up from her seat. “Your ultrasound and blood test will tell a better story though. Let’s get the nurse to help you get those done.”

Seeing their child for the first time was a revelation for Yuxin and Kun.

“Look,” Kun whispered in awe as he stared at the sonogram. ‘You can even see its little fingers.”

“Yes,” the ultrasound technician said with a smile. “The fingers and toes actually begin forming way back in the sixth week. They should be fully defined by next week.”

When her husband let out a soft wow, Yuxin smiled at his cute reaction. This was the happiest she had seen Kun since the attack had occurred.

“Now,” the technician said, breaking into Yuxin’s musings, “I’m going to use the doppler so that you can hear your baby’s heartbeat.”

As a rapid but steady pulse echoed through the room, Yuxin felt her eyes suddenly fill with tears.

She realized she had been treating her baby badly.

It’s not that she had been irresponsible or neglectful. In fact, she had done all the right things – avoiding certain foods, taking folic acid, trying to rest whenever she could – but she hadn’t truly processed the existence of her child. She had only been going through the motions of pregnancy.

She hadn’t celebrated the fact that there was a baby – a being made from her and Kun – growing and developing within her womb. She hadn’t seen the child as a person who would be joining her life in just a few months’ time. She had made no plans and bought no items to welcome her baby into the world.

In short, she hadn’t seen the child as being real.

As a tear began cascading down Yuxin’s face at her own folly and selfishness, Kun looked over at her in alarm. “Yuxin, what’s wrong?”

She couldn’t bring herself to tell him how ashamed she was feeling. “Nothing,” she said as she brushed the liquid away from her cheek hastily. “I’m just overwhelmed seeing and hearing our baby for the first time,” she lied, hoping Kun would believe her.

It appeared he did because he squeezed her hand in response, a content smile spreading across his face.

“How did everything go?” her mother asked over the phone when they were safely back in the hotel. Beside her, Kun hovered over her shoulder like a concerned midwife, listening in on the conversation. 

“My recovery is a little slower than the doctor had hoped but she says everything is normal otherwise,” Yuxin said. “We’re hopeful that the bleeding and abdominal pain will be gone by the second appointment.”

“I’m so glad to hear that,” her mother replied, the relief evident in her voice. “But that also means you need to continue to look after your health and rest more. You have to do what you can to ensure the safety of our little cloud.”

Little cloud was the nickname her mother and father had given her child. When Yuxin had asked why they had come up with that name, her mother replied, “I feel like this child floated into our lives like a dream. Besides, it’s a nice complement to your names, don’t you think? The clouds, rain, and earth tied together in harmony.”*

“I am, Mom,” Yuxin replied. “I’m taking it really easy these days. Too easy, in fact. I’m actually feeling a little lazy and useless.” She ignored the way Kun frowned at her comment.

Her rest had been a point of contention between her and Kun recently. In Kun’s view, she should actually be resting more – specifically, he wanted her on bed rest. Being the active, diligent person that she was though, Yuxin had protested vehemently against the idea.

“Normal activity is fine,” Dr. Chen told them when Kun had asked the doctor for her opinion. “There’s no medical evidence that bed rest will help a threatened miscarriage. Yuxin just has to make sure she doesn’t do anything too strenuous.”

Yuxin could tell the recent scares to her health and safety were weighing on Kun, causing him to become more protective and cautious than he had previously been. While she certainly appreciated his love and concern, she was worried that he was becoming a little paranoid.

Maybe he’ll loosen up after he returns to work, Yuxin thought to herself after she had finished her call with her mother and Kun had left to take a shower. Once he’s busy again, he’ll hopefully be distracted from everything that is happening with me.

Though he tried his best to hide it, Yuxin knew the recent events had left Kun with a lingering depression and guilt. It hadn’t helped that her attacker’s motives had been revealed to the public, bringing about a maelstrom of criticism aimed towards Kun and his inability to control his “toxic” fandom. The comments had gotten so bad that Yuxin actually had to put out a statement on her personal Weibo asking her UMs and the general public to not regard the actions of one fan of being representative of her husband or his entire fanbase.

The only silver lining to the attack was that the criticism and threats Yuxin had previously been receiving had disappeared. Needless to say, the netizens who had originally posted those messages were now too embarrassed or scared to continue their barrage online. 

Her phone suddenly buzzed with a message from Yiqi.

‘Yuxin,’ the message read, ‘Youth 4 just asked me when you’ll be returning to film. What did the doctor tell you? Do you have a date for your return yet?’

Like Kun, Yuxin had put all her activities on hold until she knew for certain her baby was safe. Of course, the public didn’t know that. To everyone but their managers, parents, and companies, Yuxin was taking time off to recuperate from the attack.

Stroking her belly, Yuxin wished she knew the answer to Yiqi’s question.

Yuxin was feeling optimistic at her next doctor’s appointment. It had now been 6 days after the attack, and the bleeding and abdominal pain had finally stopped. Kun had also been in better spirits and though he wasn’t any less protective, knowing that Yuxin’s body had recovered seemed to put him more at ease.

She was understandably thrilled when Dr. Chen confirmed her assumptions by telling them, “Kun, Yuxin, I’m happy to tell you that your little one is a fighter. She’s going to be fine.”

“She?” Yuxin repeated, her eyes unexpectedly welling with tears. She was finding her emotions a little hard to control these days. “We’re having a girl?”

“Yes, congratulations to you both.”

“KunKun,” Yuxin breathed as she turned to look into her husband’s eyes. “We’re having a daughter.”

Kun’s face mirrored the joy she felt within the depths of her heart. He leaned forward in his seat, ready to kiss her, before pulling back sheepishly. He had momentarily forgotten that they had an audience. He settled for taking Yuxin’s hand in his own and interlacing their fingers together instead.

The sheer elation Yuxin was experiencing was quickly dashed with the doctor’s next words though.

“That said,” Dr. Chen continued, “you did have a very close call, Yuxin. As such, I want you to exercise more vigilance than usual. That means I want you to stop doing anything that will put a strain on your body. This includes activities such as heavy lifting or extensive weight training. I also want you to avoid flying if possible.”

Yuxin froze. The first two she could do without an issue but flying… “But Doctor,” she protested, “the nature of what I do… I need to travel from city to city.”

“I understand that,” Dr. Chen replied, “but flying can increase your chance of getting blood clots – particularly if it’s a flight that’s longer than 4 hours. Given you’ve already experienced irregular bleeding and were slow to recover, I would highly advise you to either consider revising your schedule so that you work in only one city or look at temporarily putting your work on hold.”

Yuxin’s mind was in a disarray. “Dr. Chen, isn’t there anything you can give me that may help? What about the progesterone supplements?”

The doctor shook her head. “The supplements I gave you were only a temporary measure to help you with your threatened miscarriage. Progesterone is a hormone and can’t be taken long-term without potentially serious side effects. I’m afraid this is simply a situation where you’ll need to make a difficult choice, Yuxin.” Dr. Chen paused. “How much risk are you willing to take with your pregnancy?”

Yuxin felt as if she had been trapped in a corner, the doctor’s question piercing her to her very core. While she had always known she would eventually need to take a break for her pregnancy, she wasn’t prepared to stop working quite so early. She had thought she would at least be able to fulfill her obligations to Youth 4 and the brands she was working with.

Will my reputation be damaged if I pull out early? Yuxin wondered. I don’t want people to think I’m irresponsible or undependable. And what if they ask why I have to leave early? Will my pregnancy be exposed to the public? Maybe I can just complete Youth 4. After all, there’s really only the finale left so it shouldn’t be asking too much, right? But what if this choice turns out to be the one that will harm our child?

As the questions spun around in her head, Yuxin instinctively turned to her husband for help. “KunKun?” she asked tentatively. “What do you think?”

Kun hesitated. Knowing his next words would have a massive impact on Yuxin’s life, he fought to keep both his expression and voice neutral as he said carefully, “While I personally would prefer you not take the risk, Yuxin, I also understand how important your career is to you so…” he trailed off, finding it near impossible for him to continue his thought. He just couldn’t find it within him to say that he would support a decision to continue working.

Yuxin really didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t decisive at the best of times and having to make such a significant choice was nothing short of torturous. As Yuxin opened her mouth to say that she wanted to at least finish filming Youth 4, the sound of her baby’s heartbeat suddenly surfaced in her memory.

No, she thought as she stopped and paused, recalling her feelings from that day. I have already neglected my child enough. Now is the time for me to step up as a mother, even if it means having to sacrifice the thing I love doing the most.

Yuxin took a deep breath. “I understand,” she finally said, her voice shaky, “I’ll stop working.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * For those who didn't know, the Chinese character for the word, Kun, can mean earth in certain idioms.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a non-gratuitous spicy scene in the middle of this chapter. I'm sorry - the scene is actually important to the plot so it can't be skipped. The spice is not overly explicit though, so hopefully it's still palatable to those people who are not into this kind of thing!

As she approached her sixth month of pregnancy, Yuxin felt ready to pull her hair out of her head.

Her agency had withdrawn her from all in-person activities last month, citing her trauma from the attack as the reason why she wasn’t able to travel. Luckily for her, Youth 4 allowed her to film remotely. Her brand ambassadorships were similarly able to convert some, though not all, of her engagements to a virtual format.

Yiqi pointed out that the circumstances were actually a blessing in disguise, given Yuxin had started to show. However, Yuxin worried that her prolonged need to “recover” from her attack might make people think she was fragile or mentally weak. She also had to keep her pregnancy a secret from the public, which meant she was basically a prisoner in her own home, unable to have the freedom to do what she wanted or move about freely.

It additionally didn’t help that her pregnancy played with her hormones, causing her moods to swing like a pendulum. Every emotion she had within her was amplified, and she found herself upset over things that normally wouldn’t have bothered her at all.

Yuxin recalled with shame the way she had lashed out at Xue’Er when her friend had come to visit her at her and Kun’s home two days ago.

_“Look at how pretty this dress is, GuaiGuai,” Xue’Er exclaimed as they browsed online for baby clothing together. “You should totally get this for your little one.”_

_“I don’t want to dress my daughter in pink just because she’s a girl,” Yuxin protested._

_“Of course not, but this outfit is just too cute! It’d be a shame if you didn’t buy this one at least.”_

_For some reason, Xue’Er’s reply, innocent though it was, made Yuxin’s temper flare. “You know what? That’s the problem with society. It starts from birth. We put our daughters in pink or in dresses because that’s our pre-conceived notion of femininity. However, everyone’s spirit is free and I’m going to make sure my daughter knows that. Unlike me, she won’t be suppressed or mocked. She can be whatever she wants to be and look however she wants to look.”_

_When Xue’Er looked taken aback at her sudden outburst, Yuxin realized she had over-reacted. Immediately feeling remorseful, she apologized, “Xue Jie, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I know you didn’t mean your comment that way. Please forgive me.”_

Luckily for her, the issue had blown over quickly. Yuxin was incredibly thankful for Xue’Er’s understanding, as Xue’Er, Shuxin, and her Master were the only friends who knew of her pregnancy. She therefore relied heavily on them for companionship during this period of isolation.

Yuxin sighed to herself as she shut off her tablet, having finished watching her cooking tutorial. Kun would finally be home after a 3-day work schedule, and she wanted to surprise him with a home-cooked meal.

She was both looking forward to and dreading meeting her husband.

The part that looked forward to his return missed him greatly. Yuxin wasn’t sure if it was a result of her hormones or the fact that she no longer had work to distract her, but she felt his absence acutely whenever he was gone. Despite trying her best to keep herself busy, she found herself craving for him like an addict on drugs.

However, the part that dreaded his return wanted him to stay far, far away from her. She knew she wasn’t in the best state of mind these days and she didn’t want Kun to see her like this. She just didn’t want to burden him with her issues - after all, he was already so busy and tired as it was. Unfortunately for her, Kun seemed to sense something was off and kept asking her what was wrong. Yuxin knew that there were only so many times she could sidestep his questions or distract him with sex. 

KunKun, don’t make this hard on both of us, Yuxin pleaded to him in her mind as she began to prepare the ingredients for dinner. Just turn a blind eye and pretend everything is normal. Please.

...It’s better that way.

Kun sighed when he saw no new messages from his wife on his phone.

Yuxin was normally someone who texted often, sending him whatever funny memes or cute animal videos caught her eye. However, she had been texting infrequently these days; and when she did send him a message, the content was mostly transactional. He would be lying if her change in attitude didn’t hurt him.

Kun knew she was struggling with her current circumstances. Like him, she loved the stage and opportunities to work remotely were few and far between. As such, he knew there was currently a void in her life that she hadn’t fully been able to fill yet. His attempts at broaching the topic with her usually resulted in them tumbling around in the sheets for the rest of the night. While making love with his wife was never something he would complain about, it did frustrate him that he wasn’t any closer to an answer after all these weeks.

He wondered if the reason why Yuxin was being so tight-lipped about her problems was because she blamed him for them. If that were the case, he wished she would just unleash her feelings on him – even if they turned out to be harsh or accusatory. He just wanted the chance to shoulder her burden with her.

Yuxin, we’re a family now, he thought. Just when will you start treating me like your husband and open yourself up to me?

“Did you like dinner?” Yuxin asked after Kun returned to the dining room. He had volunteered to wash the dishes since Yuxin had cooked.

“It was amazing,” Kun said honestly as he sat down in his chair. He reached for her hand across the table. “How did you learn to make all that?”

“I researched it online,” Yuxin replied with a soft smile.

“You’ve been cooking a lot?”

“Yes, I find it therapeutic. Takes my mind off of things.”

Kun immediately leaned forward, hoping that she would talk to him this time. “What things are on your mind right now, Yuxin? Tell me. Maybe I can help.”

Yuxin hesitated, looking for all the world like she was sorry for her slip of tongue. Finally, she shook her head. “They’re not important.”

“They are important, Yuxin. I want to know.”

“KunKun, really. It’s no big deal. Just trivial matters.”

“Nothing is trivial to me when it comes to you, Yuxin. Please don’t keep it to yourself. Tell me. You know I’m always here for you.”

“KunKun…” Yuxin said with a sigh. She got up from her seat, forcibly removing her hand from his grasp.

Kun pushed his chair back from the table, ready to get up to follow her. However, before he could stand up, Yuxin walked around the table and pressed him back against his seat.

Straddling his lap before he could react, Yuxin looped both arms around his neck. “I told you, KunKun, it’s really not a big deal,” she said. She then gave him a long, lingering kiss.

When they parted, Kun tried again, “Yuxin-”

“Shh,” she whispered as she slowly began to move her hips, brushing herself against his lap in teasing motions.

Kun automatically knew she was trying to change the subject again. Placing his hands on her hips, he tried to hold her in place. However, that only caused her to bear down on him, grinding her core on top of his clothed member. Kun felt his treacherous body beginning to stir and harden with interest as he felt her heat against his. “Yuxin,” he began but found his lips captured again.

Yuxin kissed him eagerly, her tongue twining itself with Kun’s. Pressing one hand firmly against the back of his head in a silent command for him not to speak, Yuxin let her other hand roam over his body, exploring the length of his back and chest in before finally travelling down to where their bodies met. Pausing in her movements to lift herself up, she began fumbling with his belt buckle.

Kun broke from the kiss when he felt cool air hit his cock as it was freed from the confines of his boxers. “Yuxin, wait. We’ve got to-”

“KunKun, not now,” Yuxin said as she got off of his lap to kneel on the ground in front of him. Stroking his manhood firmly with both hands, she flicked her tongue against the tip, licking off the pearly bead of moisture that had gathered there before looking up at him with a hungry gaze.

Kun tried to bite back a groan of pleasure. “Yuxin…”

“Shh,” Yuxin shushed again. “Don’t talk. Just let me taste you.” She then bent her head and took him in her mouth.

The next morning, Yuxin woke up to find herself alone in their bed. She glanced over at the clock.

10:00am.

That meant Kun had left four hours earlier for work. As she put a hand to her forehead, she ran through the few hours they had spent together prior to sleeping. The sex was, as always, wonderful. Though Kun had initially been reluctant, he soon got swept up in her passion. Yuxin couldn’t help but blush as she recalled what they had done together on the dining room table after she had finished giving him the blowjob.

While Yuxin’s increased sex drive was supremely satisfied with the way everything went last night, the more logical part of her couldn’t help but feel saddened. She knew that putting Kun off didn’t ultimately make him happy.

Yuxin sighed to herself. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe Kun would understand what she was feeling, she just didn’t see a point in telling him. After all, she was sure she could figure things out on her own. Why bring more people into her own emotional issues than she had to?

She was doing this for his own good.

After lying in bed for a few more minutes, Yuxin decided that she likely wasn’t going to be able to fall back asleep again. Deciding she might as well start her day, she sat up in bed. As she stretched her arms above her head, a folded piece of paper on the nightstand table caught her eye.

Picking the paper up, she opened it to see that it was a note from Kun.

_Yuxin,_

_I love you._

_Please trust me with yourself._

_Kun_

The message, short as it was, brought tears to Yuxin’s eyes.

After she had spent the last hour weeping over Kun’s note, Yuxin began her day with puffy eyes and conflicted emotions. She was starting to question her decision to not share her thoughts with her husband.

She decided to distract herself from her current dilemma by continuing the decoration of their condo. Given the size of their place, she had been tackling this rather daunting task in steps. She already had finished the placement of their furniture and home accessories. Today was wall décor day.

Picking up a rectangular package from the pile of wall art sitting in her living room, Yuxin realized it was the gift from their wedding photographer that they hadn’t opened yet. Curious to see what he had given them, she unwrapped the package to find a 16x20 framed photograph of her and Kun during their studio session.

The photo was candid, taken during one of their rest breaks. Yuxin had already changed into her white suit. In the picture, Kun and Yuxin were leaning towards each other as they sat in their chairs, their eyes closed and their foreheads touching as they smiled over some shared joke.

Yuxin immediately knew the exact moment the photo was taken. It was when they were discussing their upcoming dinner with their parents.

_“What if they don’t like each other?” Yuxin asked, a worried look on her face._

_“I doubt that will happen,” Kun said. “But if they do…” he shrugged, “Well, not much they can do. I already put a ring on it.”_

_“Really, KunKun? You’re quoting Beyonce?”_

_“Hey, it got you to smile, didn’t it?” he replied cheekily, poking a finger into one of her cheeks._

_Swatting him away, Yuxin laughed. “You’re ridiculous.”_

_“Maybe,” Kun replied. “But you married me anyway so I must have done something right.” Leaning forward, he touched his forehead to hers and closed his eyes. “Yuxin,” he said softly after a pause, “I love you.”_

_Yuxin returned his smile, her eyes closing as well as she savoured her husband’s closeness and warmth. “I love you too.”_

As Yuxin reveled in the memories of that day, she found fragments of her conversation with Kun’s mother surfacing to her mind.

_“Remember, a happy marriage - a strong marriage - is built on communication… If something is wrong, make sure you talk to each other about it. Don’t carry the burden on your own.”_

Yuxin felt her eyes grow wet again, all the thoughts in her head sharpening and becoming clear.

She knew now what she had to do.


	13. Chapter 13

Kun was surprised to find the condo pitch black and silent when he returned home from work at 11:00pm. It had been Yuxin’s tendency to wait up for him, often with a hot meal prepped and ready to go, these past few weeks.

“Yuxin?” he called as he toed off his shoes.

When no response came, Kun began making his way to their bedroom, flicking on lights as he went. Opening the door to the room, he expected to see his wife already sound asleep under their comfy duvet. He was startled when he found the bed empty with the sheets undisturbed. “Yuxin?” he called again, this time with more urgency in his voice.

Silence.

The last text Yuxin sent him was around 5:00pm, after he had told her he would be delayed by two hours. She hadn’t mentioned going out for the evening.

As Kun moved through the condo, checking room after room, he couldn’t help the irrational fear that wondered if she was deliberately avoiding him. He knew he was taking a risk leaving her that letter in the morning. Perhaps this was a sign that she hadn’t taken it well.

As he moved to the other side of the condo, to where the guest room and home studio were, he saw what looked like a faint sliver of light seeping out from underneath the studio door. Picking up his pace, he hastened towards the room and opened the door.

A small sigh of relief escaped his lips as he saw Yuxin there, slumped over the electronic keyboard in sleep, her face nestled on top of her folded arms. 

“This girl,” he muttered fondly as he crossed the threshold. Glancing around the room, he noted with a smile the sheets of paper scattered haphazardly across the table and keyboard. It always made him happy when Yuxin composed music.

Approaching his wife, he couldn’t help but pet her head softly before grasping her by the shoulder. Shaking her gently awake, he said, “Yuxin, you need to get up. You’re going to have a sore back if you continue sleeping like this.”

“Huh?” Yuxin replied groggily, her eyes bleary with sleep.

“Come on, stand up.” Kun said, tugging lightly at her arm.

Still not fully awake, Yuxin followed his direction and clambered to her feet slowly. Noting the slight sway in her body as she stood, Kun made a snap decision.

“Put your arms around my neck,” he told her.

After she had obeyed him, he bent his knees slightly and swept her into his arms, holding her against his chest in a bridal carry. He didn’t know whether he should feel alarmed or relieved that, despite her protruding belly, his wife was still quite light. Yuxin nestled her head against his shoulder, already dozing once again. “Come on, sleepyhead,” he whispered into her silky hair, “let me take you to bed.” 

As he left the room with Yuxin in his embrace, he neglected to see a piece of paper with his name flutter to the ground.

Yuxin woke up the next morning to the find the bed empty once again. Glancing over at the clock, she couldn’t help the feeling of déjà vu as she saw that it was 10:00am.

I need to start getting up earlier, she thought to herself. I’m getting way too lazy.

As she was eating brunch, her cell phone buzzed with a new message. Flipping it around, she saw that it was a text from Grace Chow. 

‘Xin,’ Grace wrote, ‘I’m going to be in Beijing for work later this week. Do you have time to meet up? Let’s grab something to eat!’

Grace had gotten married and given birth to a baby boy last year. Given how many years she had spent dating Show Lo with no plans of marriage, it had been a bit of a shock to everyone when she had gotten married and then become a parent so rapidly. When the former FOURTRY2 castmates had asked her about it at their reunion last year, Grace replied that she had moved so quickly because the timing and feeling had felt right.

_“After all,” Grace said as she stroked her baby bump with a maternal smile that would have been unthinkable two-and-a-half years ago, “who am I to argue with fate?”_

Fate… As Yuxin reminisced, she realized Kun had used that word too when he found out she was pregnant. Feeling the beginnings of a melody flowing within her, Yuxin quickly dumped her empty dishes into the sink to soak before entering the studio with a smile on her face.

Kun sensed a change within Yuxin over the next two days. Though she still hadn’t acknowledged his letter or spoken to him about what had been bothering her, there was a lightness to her step that hadn’t been there before.

These new developments left Kun in a mildly conflicted state. While he was happy to see his wife in a better place now, he was saddened by the fact that she ultimately hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him what was wrong in the first place.

As he watched Yuxin move about their bedroom, helping him pack for his week-long business trip, Kun contemplated whether or not he should broach the subject with her one more time before he left.

He hadn’t realized he had stilled in his movements until Yuxin asked him, “KunKun, what’s wrong?”

Looking over at his wife who had paused in the folding of one of his shirts and was staring at him quizzically, he was suddenly struck with how beautiful she was. With her dewy skin, pink cheeks, and golden-brown eyes, she was a sight to behold. Her lips in particular were flushed red from pregnancy, and just begging to be kissed.

So he did.

After they had parted, Yuxin leaned back slightly in his embrace so that she could gaze into his face. “What was that for, KunKun?”

He shrugged and simply pulled her close to him again. “No reason,” he replied.

He decided to let sleeping dogs lie and not bring up the subject of Yuxin’s unhappiness again. After all, why ruin a good thing now?

When Kun finally arrived in Shanghai and turned his phone back on, he was pleasantly surprised to find a message from Yuxin. He clicked on the notification to see that she had sent him a rather cryptic message:

‘When you arrive at the hotel, check the inner pocket of your suitcase.’

Dying to know what she had hidden there, Kun couldn’t help but his jiggle his foot in impatience as he and Shenjun made their way to the hotel. His restlessness was so obvious that his manager turned to him several times throughout the trip to ask him what was wrong.

The moment he was safely ensconced in his room he broke into his suitcase. Unzipping it quickly, he fumbled around in the interior pockets – of course, there had to be three interior pockets in his suitcase – for whatever it was that Yuxin had left for him. He hit the jackpot when he searched the interior pocket to the side of the main compartment. There, he found a sealed envelope with his name written on the front in Yuxin’s handwriting.

Taking a brief moment to appreciate the fact that Yuxin had given him a letter, something she used to do quite frequently while they were dating, he tore the envelope open to reveal a scented piece of paper and a USB flash drive. Unfolding the note, he saw that it contained a short and simple message:

_KunKun,_

_I’m sorry this took so long._

_Thank you for being patient with me._

_Yuxin_

Puzzled by the lack of detail, Kun fished the laptop that Yuxin had insisted he bring on this trip out of his bag. He then set the laptop on the table in his hotel suite and plugged the USB in. After he clicked on the sole file in the flash drive, an mp4, he leaned forward in his seat in anticipation. A few seconds later, Yuxin appeared on the screen behind their electronic keyboard. The lights from the studio cast a glow about her, causing her dark hair to shimmer blue in some places.

“KunKun,” on-screen Yuxin said with a solemn expression on her face, “I’m not the best at expressing myself so I wrote a song for you instead. The song is called Simple Truths, and I hope you can give it a listen.” Placing her fingers on top of the ivory keys, she began to sing as she played:

_Six in the morning,_

_dawn’s light playing off your sleeping face,_

_All the words lodged in my throat_

_have caused a chasm between us,_

_All the emotions I want to share_

_drag me down with their weight,_

_If I could,_

_I’d tell you just what you mean to me,_

_I’d tell you these simple truths…_

As the melody continued filtering through the computer speakers, Kun felt himself tear up over the lyrics. He felt a conflicting sense of sadness and elation as he listened. Sadness, because he could feel the pain Yuxin had experienced these past few weeks; but elation, because she had finally opened herself up to him.

He video-called her the minute the song ended, and was a little surprised when she picked up on the first ring. She had likely been expecting his call.

When her face appeared on the screen, Kun said the first words that came to his mind, “I love you.”

Yuxin smiled sweetly in reply. “I love you too.”

The weeks following that moment marked a turning point in both their lives. After Yuxin had haltingly shared with Kun her feelings of fear, frustration, and isolation, the two found themselves growing closer to each other.

Yuxin became progressively more cheerful, even as her baby bump grew larger and it became harder for her to move around. It helped that, during her seventh month of pregnancy, her parents had moved into a condo nearby and Yuxin could now see her mother on many of the days Kun was away. Though she was unable to dance, Yuxin was finding joy composing. She spent a great deal of her final trimester in the studio writing song after song.

It was now the final month of her pregnancy and Yuxin was lying on her side, too large to lie on her back without hurting her spine. Kun was sitting next to her on the bed, gently massaging her back after she had complained of some aches.

“She’s not moving around so much these days,” Kun commented with a nod toward Yuxin’s tummy, as he rubbed his palms over her back in soothing, circular motions. There was a time when he could visibly see Yuxin’s belly bulge in funny places from a little foot or fist pressing against it.

“The doctor says there’s not enough room for her to move around now,” Yuxin replied, her eyes closed. There was a cramping in her groin that was just bordering on painful. “Though she sometimes jabs me in the ribs, just for the fun of it.”

“Hmm.” Kun paused in his movements to move his hands to the front of Yuxin’s body. Smoothing one palm over his wife’s baby bump, he said in a cooing voice, “Little cloud-ah, be nicer to your mother. She’s going through a lot to have you.”

He was surprised to feel a small kick underneath his palm in response. “Oh,” he exclaimed happily, “it seems like she heard me.”

His delight, however, was cut short when he saw Yuxin grimace slightly before letting out a long breath. “What’s wrong, Yuxin? Did she hurt you?”

“No…” Yuxin replied, finding some of the pressure that she had previously felt on her lungs and stomach lift, “but I think I just felt the baby drop.” She turned her head to look at her husband over her shoulder. “You may want to get that hospital bag ready, KunKun. It's almost time.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if the lyrics I wrote were terrible. A lyricist I am not!


	14. Chapter 14

Watching Kun soothe his daughter to sleep with slow, rhythmic pats to her little back, Yuxin’s mother commented approvingly, “You’re very good with her, Kun.”

“Thank you, Mom,” Kun replied, his pleasure at receiving the compliment clearly evident in his voice.

“KunKun has always liked children too, Mom,” Yuxin said as she entered the nursery. She glanced over at her husband with a loving smile. “How’s our YunYun doing?”

“I think she may have fallen asleep but I can’t see her face from this angle. Can you check?” Kun asked.

“Hm.” Yuxin crossed the room to stand next to her husband and their daughter. Resting one hand gently on Kun’s back, she leaned in closer to peer at her daughter who lay against Kun with her tiny face nestled against his shoulder. “It looks like she’s asleep. But let’s just give it a few minutes to be sure.”

“Sounds good.”

“It’s amazing how much she looks like you, Kun,” Yuxin’s mother said, making Kun flush in happiness once again.

“I know. It was always easy to pick her out among the other babies at the hospital. She’s like a little mini Kun,” Yuxin said. She gave a sigh of mock disappointment. “After carrying her around for 9 months, you’d think she could have looked a little more like me.”

“She’s got your lips though,” Kun protested.

“Maybe in shape but her lips look like they’ll be fuller than mine when she grows up,” Yuxin replied.

“You know what they say, girls look like their fathers and boys look like their mothers,” Yuxin’s mother said, “So maybe if you have a son next, he’ll look like you, Yuxin.”

“Mom!” Yuxin exclaimed with a blush as Kun chuckled next to her. “I just gave birth two months ago. You can’t be thinking of a second grandchild already.”

“I’m a grandmother,” Yuxin’s mother said. “I’ll always be hoping for more grandchildren.” She turned to Kun with her arms outstretched, “Here, give Yunhui to me, Kun. I think she should be good now.”

Yunhui was the name Yuxin’s parents had given Yuxin and Kun’s daughter. Yuxin’s mother had explained their reasoning as follows:

_“She’s our little cloud so of course her name must contain the word, ‘Yun.’ And ‘Hui’ we chose because she’s able - she’s overcome so many adversities in her little life already. From coming into the world under such unlikely circumstances and then surviving that scare Yuxin had about four months in - she’s truly our little cloud who can do anything.”_

As Kun handed their daughter to his mother-in-law, he said gratefully, “Thank you for coming by to watch YunYun for us this evening.”

“Of course!” Yuxin’s mother replied. “I love spending time with my granddaughter.” 

“I’m sure Dad misses you after being away from you so long though,” Kun said.

Yuxin’s mother had stayed with Yuxin and Kun for the traditional recovery period* after Yuxin had given birth. That left Yuxin’s poor father to fend for himself during the time she was gone.

Yuxin’s mother smiled as she carefully laid Yunhui in her crib. “He’s already survived one month without me. One extra day won’t kill him.” She then made a shooing motion with her hands. “Now, go, go! You two enjoy your date tonight.”

“Thank you, Mom,” Yuxin said. She pressed a kiss to her mother’s cheek. “We’ll be back in a few hours.”

Kun glanced over at Yuxin as she sat next to him in the passenger seat. He reached over and squeezed her hand. “You look beautiful,” he said adoringly.

“Do I?” Yuxin said. “I haven’t lost my baby weight yet.” Yuxin hadn’t been that large to begin with, having only put on about 10kg during her pregnancy. While she had already lost more than half of the weight through breastfeeding and gentle exercise, she was still about 4kg heavier than usual.

“Are you planning to lose all the weight?” Kun asked curiously. He knew Yuxin had wanted to gain weight for years.

“Maybe not all of it. Maybe two more kilograms?” Yuxin patted her upper stomach. “I mostly just want my abs back.” She paused. “Do you have a preference?”

“Nope. Just do whatever you feel comfortable with,” Kun replied. “I know you’ll look gorgeous no matter what.”

Yuxin laughed. “Sweet talker.”

“Only speaking the truth.”

The two exchanged a sweet smile before Yuxin asked, “So where is this place that we’re going to before dinner which you refuse to tell me about?”

“You’ll see,” Kun said. He gave Yuxin’s hand another squeeze before he concentrated on the road again.

Admiring her husband’s handsome face briefly before she turned to look out the car window again, Yuxin cast a critical eye on the buildings they passed. For some reason the route looked familiar to her.

She soon realized why she had that thought when they pulled up in front of a security gate. After Kun showed his ID to the guard, Yuxin asked him in confusion, “Why are we at your agency?”

“You’ll find out in just a bit,” Kun replied as he parked the car. After they had exited, he took her hand again and led her to one of the recording studios.

Yuxin looked around the premises in confusion. “Why are we here? Did you forget something perhaps?”

“No,” Kun said as he directed his wife to sit in the chair in front of the computer monitor with a gentle press on her shoulders. “Just watch the screen.”

Yuxin focused on the monitor as Kun sat down next to her and started the computer up. She then jolted back in surprise by what popped up. “What- How did you get this?”

On the screen were her lyrics and piano score for her song, ‘Fate’s Cloud.’ It was the song she had written the day Grace texted. The song spoke of her journey to becoming a mother – from the unexpectedness of her pregnancy to her fears about her inadequacy, before concluding with her resolve to be the best mother she could possibly be to her little cloud.

“I stumbled across it and your other songs the other day when I was using our studio to work on something of my own,” Kun told her.

“Oh.”

“Yuxin, all the songs are beautiful. I brought you here because I think you should consider releasing the songs to the public, with this song in particular being your title track. I think they’ll be a hit.”

When Yuxin stared blankly at him in response, a look of doubt suddenly crossed Kun’s face. “Wait. Are you not happy with this idea?”

“No…” Yuxin said quickly with a vigorous shake of her head. “It’s not that, KunKun. This is a fantastic idea. It’s just that…” She paused, thinking of how to best phrase what she was going to say next, “Are you sure this is the best choice for our family?”

“What do you mean?”

“I keep thinking of something that JieJie from 1931 said to me-”

“1931?” Kun asked, a puzzled look on his face as he mentally ran through the list of people his wife might know. “Oh. You mean the woman you met during FOURTRY2? Ma…uh, Ma Jian Yue, I think her name was?”

“Yes, that’s right,” Yuxin replied with a nod. “She said to me that she felt there were certain times for certain choices, and that being a mother was also a good choice. So…” She trailed off.

Kun’s brow furrowed, unable to believe what he was hearing. “Wait. Are you trying to tell me that you want to give up your career to become a full-time mother?”

Yuxin hesitated. “I…Well, no. I mean. Maybe it might be better if I was a full-time mother though, for the family?” When it was her husband’s turn to stare at her, she said tentatively, “I mean, it’ll give YunYun a more stable life, right? So maybe that should be my choice now?”

Kun continued to gaze silently at Yuxin. Finally, he asked, “Will that truly make you happy?”

Yuxin didn’t say anything at first. At long last, she said in a small voice, “No.”

“Then don’t make that choice,” Kun told her. “Who says you can’t choose to be a mother and an idol at the same time? I mean, look at all the female entertainers who have continued working after giving birth. What’s stopping you from doing the same?”

Yuxin looked at her husband. “But what if I get busy or have to travel a lot again? What if I’m not able to give YunYun the attention and care she deserves? What if I…” She stopped, shook her head, and simply asked, “Are you sure you’re okay with it?”

Kun cupped her face and leaned forward in his seat, pressing his lips against hers tenderly. When they parted, he told her, “If I wasn’t okay with it, I wouldn’t have brought you here, would I?”

Yuxin’s eyes glimmered as tears began to well up in her eyes. “KunKun…”

Kun smiled. “Let’s show YunYun that, like her mother, she can do it all as a woman. Go chase your dreams, Yuxin. We’ll figure things out together.”

With Kun’s help, Yuxin began working with a number of producers on six of the tracks she had written. It was an unanimous decision to make ‘Fate’s Cloud’ the title track, with the producer and sound engineer highly praising both the construction and emotion in the song. Yuxin had debated whether or not she should release ‘Simple Truths’ to the public as well but, after discussing the matter with Kun, they decided to keep the song to themselves.

After all, some things were simply not meant to be shared with the public.

When Yuxin released a photo of her recording booth with a little microphone emoji on her Weibo and Instagram accounts, her UMs went crazy. While she had been in hiding, Yuxin had only been using her social media accounts to post the occasional selfie. As such, ‘Liu Yuxin possible comeback?’ actually trended on Weibo for a short time after her post.

Exactly 5 months after Yuxin had given birth, her agency released ‘Fate’s Cloud’ to the public.

The ensuing media frenzy took both Yuxin and Kun by surprise. While they had expected some interest from the media after Yuxin’s almost one-year hiatus, they hadn’t expected it to be at such a high level. Yuxin soon found herself bombarded with requests for both print and television interviews.

Naturally, some of the interest stemmed from the fact that her song revealed the existence of their child. Yuxin couldn’t help but recall some of the crazy conversations Yiqi told her were going on online after her song went live.

_“Did you know there are betting pools for Yunhui’s name, gender, and whether or not she’s a shotgun baby or a honeymoon baby?” Yiqi said to Kun and Yuxin._

_“What?” Yuxin exclaimed._

_Kun looked curious. “What are the top picks so far?”_

_“Let me see…” Yiqi peered at her phone. “Odds have your baby’s name having the character for rain in it, for being a boy, and for being a shotgun baby.”_

_“Should we clear this up and tell the public about Yunhui?” Yuxin asked Kun._

_A mischievous smile crossed Kun’s face. “Nah. This is fun. Let’s keep them guessing.”_

Two weeks after the release of her single, Yuxin dropped her full album.

Sitting on the bed with Yunhui enjoying tummy time next to her, Yuxin skimmed through the various album reviews Yiqi had compiled for her to read on her day off. While Yuxin had started working again, she had deliberately scaled things back so that she only did three activities a week at most. It was still important for her to try to spend as much time with Yunhui as possible. 

As Yuxin clicked on link after link on her smart phone, she almost couldn’t believe what she was reading.

_“A mature, thoughtful album that successfully conveys the emotions of the artist…”_

_“…innovative musical composition with chord progressions that really shouldn’t work but they just do…”_

_“…beautifully sung, beautifully written…”_

_“A definite contender for album of the year.”_

_“With this album, Liu Yuxin has successfully made the leap from idol to singer-songwriter.”_

The last comment in particular stuck with her. This entire time Yuxin had worried that her career as an idol might be over. It never occurred to her that her career could perhaps take on a different form instead.

As she was contemplating this thought, her cell phone rang with the ring tone she had set for Yiqi. Putting the call on speakerphone, she greeted her manager, “Hello, JieJie!”

“Hi Yuxin! Sorry to bug you on your day off but I’ve got some exciting news for you that I just had to share right away.”

“Yes?” Yuxin said while smiling at Yunhui who was currently batting a coloured toy around in her little dimpled hands.

“SING! China has just asked if you would be willing to be one of their four coaches for the upcoming season. You’ll be coaching alongside Jay Zhou, Nicholas Tse, and Ronghao Li.”

“What?” Yuxin’s mouth dropped open in astonishment. “Are you sure? I mean…they’re all such successful singer-songwriters. I don’t know if I’m at the same level as them…?” 

“Well, obviously, the producers of SING! China think you are so that’s what counts,” Yiqi replied, her tone clearly not allowing Yuxin to have any doubt towards herself. “But we can talk about that later. Right now, I’ve got more news.”

“What else is there?” 

“You’ve got two new brand-endorsement offers. One is for a baby milk formula while the other is for NIVEA lotion.”

“Really?” As far as Yuxin knew, only one of the interviews she had done had been aired. While that interview did trend on Weibo afterwards, with threads praising how good she looked post-pregnancy and how she had revealed that her and Kun’s child was a girl, she was surprised that brands would think to approach her so quickly – if at all.

“Yes, really!” Yiqi said. “Why are you so surprised by this?”

“What shouldn’t Yuxin be surprised by?” Kun asked as he entered their bedroom, having caught the tail end of the conversation. Seating himself comfortably next to Yuxin, he picked Yunhui up with a smile, causing the baby to gurgle happily.

“Was that Kun I just heard?” Yiqi asked.

“Yes,” Yuxin replied.

“Ah, I see. I’ll let you go then. I’ll send those contracts I was talking about via email. Why don’t you chat about them with Kun and we can discuss everything later?”

“Sounds good, JieJie.”

After the two hung up, Kun turned to her with a quizzical look. “What contracts are Yiqi-jie talking about?”

“Two brand endorsements and SING! China,” Yuxin replied. When Kun’s eyebrows shot up at the mention of SING! China, Yuxin nodded. “I know. I was surprised too. Let’s chat about it more when we actually see the contracts.”

“Sounds good,” Kun said. He turned his attention back to their daughter, lifting her up in the air to her delight. 

After Kun brought Yunhui down to rest against his right shoulder, Yuxin shuffled closer to him on the bed and wound both arms around her husband and her daughter.

Holding her little family close to her, Yuxin thought of all the events that had led them to this moment. She realized that life was like a complex dish, made up of flavours that were at times salty and sweet, at times bitter and sour. However, with the right people by her side, Yuxin knew that anything was palatable.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Recovery Period – in Chinese culture there is a practice called “坐月子zuo yue zi” where women who have just given birth rest, eat special foods, and follow certain traditions for one month.
> 
> Author’s Note: Thank you for accompanying me on this (much longer than anticipated) journey. I have greatly appreciated all the votes, comments, and reads.
> 
> Obviously this is a fanfic so I did take a number of artistic liberties. However, a lot of the events that occur here were inspired by real life. For example, back in high school, my friend got pregnant even though her boyfriend was using a condom and she was on the pill! Many of my other friends have also struggled with the decision to become full-time mothers versus continuing their careers post-birth. As such, I wanted to incorporate some of their stories into this fic. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this ride!

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of fiction and does not in any way, shape, or form represent the real persons being portrayed here. Please exercise discretion when reading.


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